Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day: Take 2

So, last year for mother’s day I wrote, what I thought to be a lovely, all encompassing and truthful statement about my mother. She seems to disagree, as she has asked what lovely thing I will write for her this year. I suggested that I simply re-post last years essay, but nope, that isn’t going to cut it either. So, here is a new attempt to express to my mother how much I love her.


I have always known that my mother was smart. She was able to coordinate our schedules and solve the logistical problems of our youth without even breaking a sweat. One child to soccer, while another is off to piano and a third is heading for a friends house...no problem. Dance for one, extra help for another, and all three over to the church for youth group...piece of cake. She got us everywhere we needed to go, on time and properly outfitted, even when we weren’t sure where we were running off to.

However, it wasn’t until these horrible past few years that I realized exactly how much I relied upon her. Balance Elizabeth’s check book because she can’t move right now, but first we have to make sure she has enough money to cover her latest co-pays? ...Done. Keep track of Elizabeth’s chemo/ radiation/ scan schedule while making sure she is taking the appropriate medications at the correct times...done. Provide the appropriate support and information for Elizabeth’s siblings and the rest of the family, so that they understand what is going to happen...done.

It really hit home when I watched her take a deep breath and sign the health proxy form at the hospital on the day I checked in for the stem cell transplant.

"I, Elizabeth Bauerlein, designate Milka Bauerlein as my Health Care Proxy to make health care decisions for me when I am mentally or physically unable."

One deep breath, then she signed.

I realized two things at that moment. The first, that this was as momentous for her as it was for me and that it carried the same level of responsibility for her that it carried for me.
And two, I wouldn’t have any one else do this but her. She isn’t a doctor, she isn’t even the most educated member of our family when it comes to oncology and cancer. But she is the only one I would trust with the decisions a medical proxy would be required to make.


She is the emotional rock and strength for our family and I think that my siblings would agree that, when it comes down to it, she is the one we would want with us in a crisis.
We love you Mommy.
-Elizabeth