Happy Mother’s Day

So, here you go - a sentimental rambling in honor of my mother.


My mother. My first memory of my mother is vague. I know I was in the water. I know that I already knew how to swim. But my mother was holding me anyway. It is probably the safest I have ever felt. The kind of safety that only children feel. I was in the water and I didn’t need to have my mother hold me, but I wanted her to. And she did. And I felt safe.

I wish you all a mother that makes you feel safe.

I remember when I was 11 years old. On my birthday, at a church picnic, I fell and lacerated my liver. I spent 9 days in the hospital. That first night in the ICU ward I was scared. As per usual, I didn’t show it, but I was scared. My mother knew and she spent the night with me, on a cot at the foot of my bed. I felt calm. I felt safe and calm.

I wish you all a mother that makes you feel calm.

I hated school. And I loved school. It depended on the day. But boy was I a slacker. Not thru my own fault. We know now that I am wicked ADD, but back then all we knew is that I didn’t do the work no matter what. I started to feel stupid. Then my mom started watching me. Making me do my homework. She became my medication. She knew I was smart and she made sure I knew that I was smart. She made me angry constantly hovering, we fought all the time about it. But in the end, she did what was best for me and she made me feel smart. I felt safe, and not so calm but smart.

I wish you all a mother that pushes you to feel smarter.

My mother brought me to church. She brought me to Sunday school. She taught me how to treat people. She yelled at me when I did something wrong, when I hurt someone’s feelings. I was seven the first time I learned the power of words. I yelled at my mother and told her I hated her. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. The next day she still wouldn’t talk to me. I finally apologized, but she wouldn’t accept it and I couldn’t understand why. Then she told me that she wasn’t mad that I yelled, she was upset that I hated her. I immediately told her that I loved her. I didn’t know that power of words. I learned. She forgave me. And I became a better person. I felt safe and calm and smart and better.

I wish you all a mother that makes you a better person.
I know you are all waiting for the story that demonstrates my mother’s love. But I don’t have one. ..All my stories. …All my memories… All my life demonstrates my mother’s love. She has never NOT loved me and I have NEVER not felt her love. When I am with her,…when I go to her and need her, - I feel safe. And I feel calm. And I feel smart and I become a better person. And I always, always feel loved.