Ramblings

2009-10-01T16:44:00.002-04:00

We're 2 for 2! That's 2 clean PET scans in 12 months. We could definitely get used to this! There are even rumors that the port may be removed in the not-too-distant future. Woo-hoo!

If you're still checking, then know that it is appreciated, even if it doesn't appear that way; we realize it must be frustrating not to have more consistent information available. I have a feeling that Elizabeth does not intend to post much positive / non-cancer related news here (it seems she mostly uses this venue to vent, which is why so little has been posted since March's clean PET! Thank God!). She'll correct me if I'm wrong...but only if she checks the site herself! (Ha ha ha!)

Rest assured, that the old adage applies, "No news is good news." With that in mind, let's pray that there is very little reason to update this site in the future!

Signing off for now,
Katrina

2009-09-30T22:36:00.002-04:00

Should anyone be checking this blog: Elizabeth has a PET scan scheduled for October 1, 2009. It is the first scan since March (when she got the 100% cancer-free result--see below). We are looking forward to more good news tomorrow.

An update here as soon as I get it....

2009-03-12T16:17:00.001-04:00

COMPLETE REMISSION!!!!!!!!!
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GLOWS.

ARE YOU PEOPLE HEARING ME?

COMPLETE REMISSION!

2009-03-12T07:48:00.003-04:00

Hello blogger world.

It's that time again. I'm off for a PET scan. I have about 3 minutes to get ready, and I'm taking one of the to update the blog.
This is an important PET. In comparison with the last PET, it will show whether or not Katrina can hold her own against Fred. Personally, I'm rooting for Katrina's stem cells.
I know most of you already are, but if you could throw just a little bit of extra positive energy and prayer my way today, that would be great.
-Liz

2009-02-23T22:01:00.004-05:00

So..Whats new with me.

Well first off. I've got the house to myself. Mom and Dad split and went off galavanting for a month. Down the East Coast, stopping at verious realatives, all the way to Florida and then back up again. They are currently in Florida. I spoke to mom today and she said it was a little windy but it was supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow, so maybe she and dad would go in the heated pool.
I think she does these things just to make me jealous. It's frigid outside and windy.
They do have some help in their travels. They just bought a GPS. We had several "lessons" before they took off. I went over it with both of them. (And yet still, Dad somehow managed to convince the GPS that we were in Kansas. It's a satalite...why did it think we were in Kansas?) I woke up to see them off on Wednesday, and then went back to bed. 15 minutes later I get a call from them. I'm sort of assuming they forgot something and are coming back to pick it up. ...Nope. They can't program the GPS and haven't left the driveway. I hope they have it figured out by now. In honor of their travels, here is some road music. It also fits with the picutre I got of Dad visiting David and Jane. Apparently someone let him play with the motorcycles.

The house to myself has given me time to work on my Italy slide show. I want to burn the thing to a DVD so that it can be shown on a tv, but I don't have a DVD Burner. So, on Saturday I went over to Carol's house to use hers, only it didn't seem to work. Especially since I couldn't find any software for it. So, after 3 hours and change over there on Saturday, I gave up and called Steve.
He gave me a link to some DVD software I could try. And that's what I did today. I downloaded the DVD software, and converted my video file, but the thing still wouldn't burn. I think the drive must be broken.

My nephew Zach, to help me salvage my day, helped me set up a Facebook Account. That's right, I'm now on Facebook. It's been 6 hours or so and I have 21 friends. I also finally picked out a picture for my profile. This was in Italy. We were at this great Restaurant in Florence, and I didn't bring a pocketbook, and was wearing a skirt. Where else was I supposed to keep my room key?

I think that's all for now. Hope everyone is staying warm.
-Elizabeth

2009-02-06T23:45:00.004-05:00

This is my view...chillin in the Waldorf.

I decided against room service. I had my soup and...don't get me wrong. It was nice. But I wasn't about to pay $26 for filet mignon that came with no sides. So, instead I went out for Thai...again. I went to the doctor on monday and the four of us. Erica, Drew, Mom and I went to a great thai restaurant. I had a red curry and drew had a yello with mango. We ended up mixing them. It was great!

The doctor visit itself went fine. My medications have been stepped down again and so far i'm doing fine. On the way up to boston, we stopped at my friend's Julies house and I got to play with Kaden. I think he likes me.

And now i'm sitting in the Waldorf. Marta had a ticket, through her company, to the Viennes Opera Ball. Hence, the Waltz playing. She is staying at the Waldorf and I decided to take a mini vacation. I'm sitting in the lobby with my cousin Kate, (who is here with her parents) and were just people watching the people in the gowns and tux and tails. I also had a half a bottle of wine in the room. It's a good thing i brought the wine with me...if I had tried to get this buzz off of room service it would have cost me $70 and a kidney.

I'm actually really sleepy so I'm going to add the picture and post this. Maybe I'll try being more coherent tomorrow.

-Elizabeth

2009-02-06T18:28:00.000-05:00

Hello world! I am currently sitting in a superior room at the waldorf astoria. I'm blogging from martas blackberry. I will do a better update from down stairs but for now...I am sitting and digesting the 15 dollar onion soup.
D
did you catch that? 15 dollar soup!
Anyway, I will update again in an hour or so.
_liz

2009-01-08T20:38:00.003-05:00

Hello Bloggers -

Just a quick update. I had a follow up appointment in Boston on Monday. It went fine. I don't have to go back to DFCI for a month! Not much going on this week. We did do some "apple jammin" this past weekend for Erica's wedding. We made a ton of jam. It tasted really good, but I'm not sure I ever want to look at another apple again. Erica's guests had better appreciate the effort.

In other news from Massachusetts....

I would like to introduce someone to you. Do you all remember my friend, Julie? She's the one with the baby bump. Well guess what? The bump is out.

Bloggers? I would like you to meet Kaden Sean.

Mommy and son are doing fine. (Although Julie sounded exhausted when I spoke to her)

And Kaden is adorable. He doesn't even have that smushed baby face that newborns have. Julie and Brendan did good work.

If you have a second, give a Congrats shout out to Julie, Brendan and baby Kaden.

-Elizabeth

2008-12-31T20:21:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year !!!

Hello blogger verse. It is less than 4 hours until the New Year and I'm blogging from my sister Carol's house. Our family is spread all over and celebrating in different time zones this year. Katrina is in Germany. Prosit Neujahr! My cousin Marta is in Slovakia. Štastný nový rok! My sister Erica is in Boston and my brother Paul is in Chicago. They get a plain old Happy New Year!

That goes to the rest of you too.

Happy New Year!

Next, a non holiday related shout out to my nephew matt. Happy Birthday!

Finally, here are pictures of my gingerbread house. Mom promised and I deliver.

Sorry some of the pictures are sideways. i'll fix it when i get home and have my own photo program to work with.

Here's to hoping that next year tops this year.

-Elizabeth

2008-12-22T16:02:00.000-05:00

Hello blogger world –

First things first. Thank you all so much for the huge showing of support. It was a great thing to check the blog throughout out the day and see how many people and who had left a comment. From students, to friends I haven’t seen in a while, to all those friends of Caroline. (It sounds like a charity group…the Friends of Caroline. Oh. There is the newest competition. If there were a charity group called the Friends of Caroline…what would they support?)
I am currently sitting in a lovely reclining chair, in a quiet corner of the Dana Farber infusion room, waiting for a nurse to come back with papers for me to sign. “Wait!” You say. “Why am I sitting in an infusion room? “ You thought my treatments were over. There was nothing else. Well, this is true. I have finished all my chemo treatments, but Dana Farber had this study that I qualified for.
One of the problems with an allogeniec stem cell transplant is the possibility of chronic graft vs. host. (GVHD) I am currently on immunosuppressants to stop Katrina’s immune system from attacking my organs as a foreign body. However, there is a possibility in the future, once they decrease the amount of immunosuppressant I’m on, that she will get overly excited and start attacking a kidney ..or a liver.
One of the things the Doctors have noticed is that if you give a patient with chronic GVHD, rituxan, it alleviates the symptoms. So, the question is, if they give rituxan prior to the establishment of GVHD, will it be prevented. So, here I am, waiting to receive a 4+ hour drip of rituxan. And why am I waiting, when they knew that I would be here? Well, for the second week in a row, my bloods came back with a high hormone count. Specifically, the one that indicates pregnancy. And no matter how many times I try to assure the doctor that at the time there is no chance that I am pregnant, they still need to have it run by a GYN doctor to get his opinion. (Apparently, my opinion and assurance don’t count for anything.) So, here we wait for the start. And as I write this, I am also down loading some Christmas carols. Including “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas”. Speaking of white, Mom and I actually drove up yesterday. It was miserable. Our usual 3 hour drive took us 6 hours. By the time we saw the third car off the road, I was tempted to tell mom to just turn us around and go home. And we still had another 3.5 hours to go. It was just….BAD. Really Bad.
When we got to Erica and Drew’s last night, we were greeted with a glass of bailys. That was nice. Their house looks really nice. They have the sweetest tree and, since they have a fire place, they have decorated it with garland and nutcrackers. The also have a giant, 6 foot pile of snow in the front yard from shoveling out their cars. (It would make a great snow fort.) OK. That’s all for this update. I’ll catch you again before Christmas. Enjoy the music. (Smiles her evil smile and gives her evil “tee hee”)
-Elizabeth

2008-12-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

One hundred days of learning,

One hundred days of fun,

One hundred days to work and play,

Aren't I the lucky one?

~ Mrs. McNeill

Elementary schools all across the country celebrate the 100th day of school with dynamic activities and special celebrations.

Elizabeth is celebrating her own 100th day today: 100 days post-transplant, a benchmark date for allogeneic stem cell transplant recipients. Together with her clear PET scan from a few weeks ago, this day continues joyous news for Elizabeth and us all!

Elizabeth: we love you, rejoice in your accomplishments and pray for your continued health! Happy 100th day!

2008-12-02T00:35:00.001-05:00

Alright folks -
just a quick post before I head to bed. Today's scan was excellent news. I am even further into remission than I was prior to the transplant. This is impressive, because there was no chemo to contribute to this remission. It's all Katrina. ..or rather Katrina's cells. They have been hard at work, kicking Fred's ass. This is not only good news now, but good news for the future. Katrina's stem cells recognize Fred as the enemy and therefore are going to continue to kick his ass until he is completely gone.
Ok. Send some love for Kat's cells. I'm going to bed.
-Elizabeth

2008-12-01T06:57:00.002-05:00

Elizabeth has her first post-transplant PET scan today. Now is where we see how the hybrid immune system is really working.

Love, prayers and well wishes are greatly encouraged.

Good luck today, Elizabeth & Mom! We love you!

2008-11-23T23:09:00.002-05:00

Does anyone else smell smoke?...

You are some viscious people. I take a small vacation from blogging and the next thing I know, you're all burning Steve in effigy. I think he's gone into hiding. He and Marta have hit the road and no one has heard from them except in quick, cryptic phone calls. So, in the hopes of saving Steve, I will point out, that I could have updated from elsewhere. (Of course this now puts me at risk, doesn't it?) I merely ask that you leave poor Steve alone. In fact, I expect to see several "anonymous" apologize to Steve.

Ok. On to other news. Yes, I have been out and about. I have gone to church, and choir and even to a movie. (Of coarse I brought my minions with me so that they could clean the seats for me. Picture it, I'm standing in the theater in my mask and gloves while a small troup of teenagers clean my seat with wipes and paper towels. ...I looked like the biggest germaphobe EVER)

I'm currently in Boston. Mom and I drove up this evening as I have an early appointment tomorrow with Dr. Soiffer. I also had my last round of IVIG last Wednesday and my counts have been climbing. (Insert cheer here) My last platlet count, as of wednesday, had me at 128...and as I was over 100, I decided to take myself off the yellow paint...I mean the mepron. (Insert another cheer here) Don't worry, I eventually called DFCI and double checked that that was OK.

I have also had several visitors to the house. Although, my most frequent visitor is Caroline. She comes over at least once a week and we go for walks. Of course, she seems to be determined to give Mom a heart attack. Take Elizabeth for a walk in the rain? Check. Bring Elizabeth fresh bakery cookies that she can't eat? Check. Bring Elizabeth back with a tick on her? Check. On the other hand, she has been great to talk to.
I have also had a visit from Allie, Mrs. Miller, Aunt Patty and a call from Meg, a classmate from High School.

Thanks for all the concern, I hope to see you all soon and I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

2008-11-13T12:32:00.002-05:00

Now that she's out and about...

Elizabeth sightings are on the rise! Where'd you see her? Did you get to talk to her? Did you get her autograph?

Tell the world your Elizabeth-sighting story! We all want to know...

Erica said...
Good to see you and mom yesterday, Lizzie. Thanks for your help at the store - let me know if you get any ideas!
Love, E
PS: Keep going out and about! No one thinks you're scary for wearing a mask! :)

2008-11-10T06:20:00.002-05:00

I know Elizabeth didn't get to post this weekend, but as she is on her to Boston for another routine appointment with Dr. Soiffer, I wanted to just update you on my mysterious post from Friday and on the comparatively good week she had.

Most importantly, the IVIG treatment seems to have been working, so her various blood counts rose throughout the week. For those of you who remember the "at least I'm not bleeding in my head" blog, this is a very encouraging thing! Although she is not yet in the "normal" range, we do pray her counts continue to improve and bring her back within a safe margin.
In addition, she ventured out of the house a couple of times last week (with gloves and mask) and even entertained various guests at home, and seems to be warding off the germs of the world, so that is positive as well.
Lastly, her doctors seem to have balanced out her meds, so they are not making her sick...either that or she has developed a stomach of steel that can take it. Regardless, nausea and related ailments were not really a factor this week.

So: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the prayers! Say one of those prayers when you get a chance: Thank you God! And keep them coming, as we approach the 75 day mark (that's 3/4 of the way to lifting some of the restrictions and a PET scan!).

2008-11-07T08:19:00.002-05:00

Good news.

Elizabeth had good news.

Pester her until she shares it.

(Make it creative, or she'll just get annoyed.)

2008-10-30T01:42:00.004-04:00

Jessica

I don’t think I have ever heard anyone bad mouth a cancer patient. Instead, you hear about how very brave they are, and how wonderfully they handle the difficulties. You hear about their exceptional qualities and their unparalleled faith. And while I find myself on occasion lacking in many of these qualities, it seems to hold true for most everyone I’ve met. But even with my experience, there are some individuals who outshine the rules – those people whom I look up to for their strength and courage and faith. One of these unique warrior women is Jessica Kaylor. She is the niece of our family friend, and adopted Bauerlein sister, Jeanette.
Jessica is a true warrior. She has been battling longer than I could. She is a mother, a wife, a daughter. She has an amazing faith that has inspired and encouraged me on more than one occasion. And she retained that amazing faith even though she knew early on that her cancer, while treatable, was not curable.
Jess passed away today. By the time I post this it will be tomorrow. She has gone to God and I’m sure was greeted with a “Welcome home…do you feel better now?” She is no longer in pain and that in itself is a blessing. She was surrounded by those who loved her when she passed, and so she was doubly blest.
So, for any of you out there, who forget to live each day …I mean really live ..each ..day; to those of you who lose your faith; to those who start to get annoyed over the little things and for those of you who start to pity yourself for the hardships in your life instead of thanking God for the good things - I want you to remember Jessica. She is loved, and she will be missed.
Feel free to leave a comment, but I’m asking that you please say a prayer for the Kaylor family.

May flights of angels sing you to your rest and give you peace.
May they create your place in heaven and give you up to the Most Blessed.
May your soul endure no pain and experience no regret.
Let your spirit soar above all those you loved and grant them peace.
Send your light like a beacon for those who come after and grant serenity to all that must wait to be with you again.
Most importantly, know that you are loved still, by all who knew you and by God.

http://jessicakaylor.blogspot.com/

2008-10-24T17:31:00.003-04:00

I think my stomach tried to jump out of my mouth today.

As much as I love the people who work at Westchester Oncology and Hematology Group (aka WOHG) and I do, I'm sick of seeing them. As Katrina mentioned, I'm having trouble keeping my blood counts up. And technically, it's not me, who is having the trouble. (Katrina is currently typing right now, as I am cacooned on the bed...Give everybody a wave, Katrina) [editor's note: what am I, like, three???] So at the risk of having Katrina hijak this post because she is pissed off about what I'm about to say, I will tell you exactly whose fault it is...

It's Katrina's. [We think.]

We think.

The current working theory is that for some reason, while Katrina's stem cells and blood cells work perfectly fine in her own body [exceptionally well, thank you], in my body they have developed an autoimmune "issue". For those of you who don't understand the concept of an autoimmune issue, it appears as though Katrina's immune system is attacking, and destroying, my blood cells [whose blood cells??!!] which is only humorous, because they are technically her blood cells. So, for those of you taking bets on which would win out, ADD or OCD, apparently we have a winner. [You lost me...which is interesting because I'm typing this...]

Here's the way it was supposed to work: My immune cells have been giving Fred a free pass; they drift by and they say, "Hey Lymph, ya puttin' on some weight?" We did everything possible to give them a clue, and finally they got it. They just didn't know how to fight it. My stem cells were the cave men of immune systems: they picked up sticks and stones and threw them at Lymph...which only served to piss Fred off. So we sent in special ops. Katrina's stem cells arrive and for the first few weeks, they do their job. My stem cells do offer to help: show them where the stockpile of stones is, give them tips on how to properly throw a stick...and Katrina's stem cells were very polite.

Katrina's cells: That's very nice, but we brought our own weapons.
Elizabeth's cells: (with awe) Ooooo....what's that???
Katrina's cells: (as if talking to 2-year-old) This?...This is an uzi. (Turn toward Fred) Watch and learn...

[Hmm...I suppose she has a point; Cells: stop attacking self & secure the perimeter....and stop listening to Elizabeth's screwed up immune system!! That's why we had to send you in to begin with!!!]

That's the way it was supposed to happen. But apparently Katrina's stem cells got a little trigger happy. [whoops!] So now, in the past two weeks, I've needed six units of platelets and two units of red blood cells...and all she says is "whoops." [whoops-a-daisy???]

So what is the fix for all of this? We're hoping that it's IVIG, which I'll be receiving on Monday at DFCI. You'll have to tune in next week for more on that procedure.

That's pretty much all I [we] have for today except to explain the title of today's post. This morning, I had a flashback to 10th grade Biology, when I recalled learning about the eating habits of a starfish. As you may know, starfish have a hard shell, and no mouth or lips, just a hole. So when starfish need to eat, it actually forcibly expells its stomach out through the hole, lands it on top of what it is trying to eat, partially digests it and then sucks it back in. That's what I felt like this morning as my stomach tried to jump of my mouth: a starfish. It made me wonder, if I cut off a limb, will it regrow?

2008-10-20T20:14:00.002-04:00

A day at DFCI

(as relayed to Katrina by Mom/Elizabeth/Erica)

Elizabeth (and Mom) met with Dr. Soiffer, her oncologist at DFCI, in Boston today and Erica just called to say they are on their way home. Much information came of this meeting and simultaneously many questions were also left unanswered. We'd like to share with you the important stuff but also not bore you to tears...so here are the summarized notes:

Elizabeth's stomach, fever & platelet symptoms are not Graft v. Host Disease (commence cheering);
In fact, my stem cells have successfully engrafted into Elizabeth's body (in a measurable amount that I am forbidden to share with you per Elizabeth) (yay!);
Dr. Soiffer displayed more puzzlement than alarm at Elizabeth's low platelet count (puzzled is better than alarmed---although I'd rather be puzzled while playing Pictionary than while in my doctor's office...);
He has a few theories as to why her count is so low and he is testing them out this week. Elizabeth's theory is that her immune system can screw anyone up. Knowing that her ADD couldn't trump my OCD, I will seek out a different explanation. One of Dr. Soiffer's theories involves decreasing the amount of immunosuppressant medication that she currently takes; this could also alleviate some of her stomach issues (tentative cheer);
Elizabeth will have follow-up blood work this week at Westchester where she will potentially receive additional anti-bodies and of course, platelets if necessary;
Her next appointment with Dr Soiffer at DFCI is next Monday.

From what I hear, Elizabeth intends to post herself soon; it promises to be interesting, so tune back in for a bloody good time! (Umm...I think I just channeled my husband...or my father...or my pastor. I'm doomed.)

2008-10-17T19:01:00.004-04:00

"On the upside, I'm not bleeding in my head..."

Elizabeth's resting on her bed in the darkness. We're working on keeping Gatorade down and, along with it, these under-achieving anti-nausea pills. You know your illnesses are compounding, when your goal is to steady your stomach enough so you can take Tylenol to get rid of your headache...THEN you can work on the rest of the meds you're on.

But at least she's not bleeding in her head.

Mom and Elizabeth had to return to the Westchester today because Elizabeth's lab results from yesterday indicated low platelets again. But when she went for her transfusion this morning, she already had the makings of a primo-migraine; it only got worse throughout the day. As many of you know, the Bauerlein headache reputation is one for severe light, sound, smell and motion sensitivity, not to mention the overwhelming urge to vomit. With Elizabeth, the overwhelming urge to vomit has become a daily visiter this week, but today was especially severe. Because of this and the lack of clotting (due to a low platelet count) the medical staff was concerned that she may have burst a blood vessel in her head which would be unable to clot. Obviously this could be very dangerous. DFCI and Westchester decided to run a CT scan to rule out bleeding in the head. It was ruled out.

So no matter how crappy she feels right now, the mantra is, "at least she's not bleeding in her head."

Elizabeth's next medical stop is a follow up at DFCI in Boston on Monday.

I just tried to read her this blog entry and found that she seems to be napping, for which we're very thankful. Prayers are now being accepted centering on keeping liquids/food down, keeping her slight fever in check and most of all, taking the nausea away. We're also offering a prayer of thanks for no bleeding in the head. So remember to say a little prayer!

2008-10-11T11:34:00.008-04:00

Katrina’s medical primer to Elizabeth’s recovery

With all the questions I’m asked on a daily basis, this slightly misleading question is asked most frequently: How come we won’t know if the stem cell transplant worked until next year?

Well, here is your crash course in stem cell transplants. (Please note: this high school German teacher studied biology for exactly 1 year in college, with only 2 semesters in a genetics lab...read at your own risk).

Point 1: Cancer treatment

VIPER successfully treated Elizabeth’s lymphoma; before the transplant, she was declared CR (complete remission) as opposed to PR (partial remission). When she has a PET scan, we will know whether my donation through the stem cell transplant was effective in preventing a reoccurance. A PET scan is tentatively scheduled for about 100 days from the date of transplant. We pray this scan shows no active sites (which could indicate cancer) and that Elizabeth remains cancer free for ever and ever. (If this is all you want to read, you’ve gotten the main idea. Skip to the summary below & comment away.)

Point 2: Potential complications due to cancer treatment
Unfortunately, there can also be some complications from an allogeneic (donor) stem cell transplant.

Subpoint 2A: Because chemotherapy compromised Elizabeth’s immune system, she is especially susceptible to infection due to bacteria, fungi or viruses; thus the assortment of anti-fungal & anti-biotics that she is currently taking. We hope she will be weaned off of these in the next 11 months. This susceptibility is a primary reason for the perennial gloves and masks which one must don when one visits. It is also the reason that Elizabeth doesn’t want to see if you if you are coughing, sneezing, or oozing from any part of your body. It’s also the reason we get to lock her in attic. (Just kidding.)

Subpoint 2B: Elizabeth is like a baby; wait, let me re-phrase: her immune system is like a baby’s...without the health benefits of her mother’s breast milk (And look, I love ya kid, BUT...). Her body can’t handle a lot of foods, especially those to which she may have an allergic reaction or which could be “unclean.” This is why you gotta cook everything dead. She also has no acquired immunities and will need to re-develop them or be re-immunized with all the childhood vaccines. During the next 11 months, she will be able to try some foods that are currently off-limits.

Subpoint 2C: Another potential complication from a stem cell transplant is called graft vs. host disease (GVHD). This occurs when my stem cells screw up and wind up attacking Elizabeth’s organs/immune system rather than defending them. They know they shouldn’t do this and are currently doing as they have been ordered. (Go fightin’ stem cells!) Because Elizabeth and I were such a good match (insert any number of jokes here), the risk of this disease is decreased. She is also taking immunosuppressant meds for this--immunosuppressant meds are yet another reason for mask and gloves. She may need to take some of these meds for months or even years as GVHD may rear its ugly head now, in a year or in three years.

Summary: Generally speaking, the doctors are pretty impressed with our Elizabeth, although currently her platelet count is a little low and she may require a transfusion; she’s bouncing back faster than the “typical” patient and they’ve actually sent her home ahead of schedule. (Woo-HOO!)

I know this may not be a very entertaining post, but I hope it has proved informative. Besides if I begin to post mundane things, maybe Elizabeth will take the reigns herself again.

2008-10-06T16:22:00.003-04:00

Is everyone paying attention?

Are you sure?

This is important.

OK.

First...notice the name of the song.

Got it?

Not yet?

OK ...try listening to the refrain.

You still don't get it?

Fine. I'll just have to spell it out for you.

I-M C-O-M-I-N-G H-O-M-E!!!!

I don't hear anyone cheering.

I'm coming home people. There should be a parade. OK, so I won't be home until late tonight, so maybe a parade is over reaching. Instead, feel free to leave a comment. It will be like a blog parade.

Send me some love
-Elizabeth

2008-09-25T16:37:00.002-04:00

Ranting from Katrina:
Elizabeth isn't sharing her precious health information....she's a brat.

All over the globe,

with appetites whet,

they click on their "Favorites"

and hop on the 'Net.

Not asking for much,

they've settled before...

but it's the same old report

re-reading's a bore.

Well, we know how you feel:

She's improving, yes sir!

We'd love to be miffed...

but it is all about her.

And an update from Erica:
Erica said...
In case anyone is wondering, Liz is doing great. After a rough weekend her numbers starting climbing on Monday. We are on schedule to have her back in NY by early October!Feel free to keep the mail coming up here. Again, it is 4 Franklin St, #1, Medford, MA 02155

2008-09-17T20:39:00.002-04:00

Hello World -
This is the Elizabeth/Katrina hybrid. So far, i have not noticed any weird melding symptoms. I'm also not noticing too many chemo symptoms. I got to Ericas house on Saturday. It smelled of cleaning solution and it sparkled. No, really. It hurt my eyes.
One of the first things Erica and I did was sit down and lay out my meds. And oh do I have a lot of meds. I have antibiotics, I have anti nausea, antacids, potasium, magnesium, vitamins, 2 different immunosuppresents, drinks, rinses, pastes and shots. I take 30 pills everyday. I swish, spit or swallow, 4 different liquids and I shoot myself in the leg everynight.
Now, ask me which one of these I dislike the most. I have to drink this awful stuff. I only need to have 5 ml. of it. But I would gladly take 30 more pills a day if I could skip that one drink. Here let me describe it for you. First, you have to shake it. Supposedly this helps it to be a cohesive liquid. (Then explain the lumps!)
OK. I want everyone to think back to 2nd grade. You there? Good. Now I want you to remember art class. The art teacher goes and pulls out the giant containers of paint. She pours the ridiculously thick mass of paint into little containers and hands you a huge paint brush to paint with. You dip the brush into the paint and then glob it on to the paper, trying to push out the lumps with the brush as you paint the petals of a flower. Then you go for the yellow paint. That bright yellow paint that is perfect for a sun. But instead of dipping your brush into it, you drink it. It coats your mouth and then sickeningly slides down your throat. After realizing that you drank the foul tasting paint, you scream and have hysterics until the teacher hands you some water (and/ or calls poison control) But the water doesn't help. The taste is stuck along the insides of your cheeks and has coated the top of your tongue. It ruins your day, and it makes every meal taste awful. You have trouble not gagging and.....Oh. So, you get the picture? You don't need anymore of a description? OK
For the most part, the rest of the week has been uneventful. I had an appointment this morning for blood work and my final round of metho( an immuno suppresent) However, as soon as mom started driving, I started to get nauseas. It was a very long ride in. But as soon as we got to Dana Farber, they got me in for my bloods and then set me up in a private room. My counts came back fine, and the nurse I had an appointment came and met me in the private room. I havn’t been drinking enough, but that is easy enough to remedy.
The final cool thing about Dana? They food you. They feed everyone. In fact, they are food pushers. Mom and I were about 5 minutes from leaving. It was shortly after noon and we were just finishing up some ativan to help with the nausea on the way home. A nurse came by with a giant rolling cart, over flowing with food. She told us it was lunch time and she asked what we wanted. I informed her that I couldn'thave any of the fruit or sandwiches, because of my special diet, but she just reached into the back section for transplant food. Then she and my chemo nurse, proceed to foist sandwich after granola, after cookie after, pretzels at me. They were going to feed mom to, but she declined. It was really very cool.
So, that’s really all I got for now. One final shout out. Thanks to Lisa C for the visit, cookies and mac n’ cheese. (We had it for dinner tonight. It was great) And to everyone who is sending cards…thanks. I love getting mail. I usually get 3 cards a day and Erica and Drew get a flyer. (Most of those cards are from Caroline…she’s a nut)
That’s all for now. I better post this before Katrina drives up here and takes back her stem cells.
-Elizbeth

2008-09-12T13:37:00.007-04:00

Final Convention Coverage

Final wrap up of the stem cell convention coverage. This is Charles Fitzpatrick Reporting.

Last night the party fought it out to pick their nominee for the role of Elizabeth’s Stem Cells. On one side we had the incumbent, do-nothing stem cell, which never really seemed to gain any true momentum. Their platform of experience was severely undermined by the fact that during their tenure as Elizabeth’s Stem Cells, they were unable to do the job.
On the other hand we have the upstart and ever-so-hopeful, Katrina’s Stem Cells, who have an excellent track record as being Katrina’s Stem Cells, but have virtually no experience with being Elizabeth’s Stem Cells.

The debates were harsh, the speeches profound but in the end only one group could be called upon to fill the position of Elizabeth’s Stem Cells.

Oh…We are going to cut live to the podium where Elizabeth’s Stem Cells are about to make an announcement.

My fellow cells. Thank you all for you support. It has been a wonderful 30 years, and we have accomplished much together. However, the time has come for us to step down and allow progress to occur. Katrina’s Stem Cells are good people. They have an excellent record of health and prosperity for Katrina. I now ask you all to throw your full weight behind Katrina’s Stem Cells. I offer them my full support and concede to them the role of Elizabeth’s Stem Cells. Please pray that they are up to the job.

Wow, I would say that that concession speech hit all the right notes. I feel that the real change in this convention occurred when Elizabeth, herself, came out in favor of Katrina’s Stem Cells. With such over whelming support, I couldn’t see this going any other way. We’re going to interrupt once again, this time to hear from Katrina’s Stem Cells. Let’s see if they can rally the troops and unite all of the cells with their victory speech.

My fellow stem cells. It is time for us to come together, not as Elizabeth’s or Katrina’s stem cells, but as all Stem Cells, everywhere – united in one common goal to Kill Fred. We have made efforts before, we’ve had grand gestures and major pushes, but this time we will succeed. If you all stand with me, and give me the support I ask we can achieve all of our goals.

To Elizabeth’s Stem Cells I make this promise. While working as your own stem cells we will attack Fred on all fronts. We will teach you how to defend yourself against his malicious ways. We will keep you safe and healthy, and when the job is done, we will leave you to regulate yourselves. It’s our time now. If you give us your support, we will lead you to victory.

I can’t believe it. I think they have actually done it. You should hear the roar of approval coming from the convention center. All of the cells are united behind Katrina’s Stem Cells for the role of Elizabeth’s Stem Cells. It’s incredible. There is so much hope and optimism here that …I’m at a loss for words. Oh wait, here is the unveiling of the new advertising campaign and is that???

Yes, it is the new song that goes with it.

Watch out Fred. We may have started to hurt you with VIPER, but that isn’t anything compared to
HURRICANE KATRINA!

That's all from the convention folks. It's been one exciting ride. Now don't forget to get out there and vote. (LEAVE A COMMENT!)

2008-09-12T10:01:00.002-04:00

Katrina here; we're all a little drained (pun intended) but here is a quick update...

At about 7 pm yesterday, Elizabeth received my stem cells rather uneventfully with M & D, Erica, Charlie and me hovering with good vibes. Exhausted, I soon needed to get home to my own bed. Apparently, the next excitement came at about 1 AM when Elizabeth experienced a tension headache--if you know our family, you know these things are debilitating complete with vomitting, etc... There was some confusion about how to treat it, so Elizabeth called the gang: Erica and Drew picked up Mom and brought her to the hospital where they worked the normal magic and by 3:30 Elizabeth was resting and Mom was able to get back to the hotel. Long night after a long day....

I talked to Mom briefly this morning and then she went back to bed. Now we are letting Elizabeth and Mom rest; so try to refrain from calling either of them for the time being---leave your love here. Erica, on the other hand is off to class. These are some strong ladies.

The plan remains as before: providing Elizabeth's doctor feels she is recovering okay, she will be discharged to Erica's Recoup facility on Saturday. More info on the recoup process as it becomes available.

Thanks for all the awesome comments yesterday; it was a marathon of treatment, blogging and support from all around. May God bless you all. We certainly have been.

2008-09-11T17:18:00.003-04:00

The debate begins...

After 9 gruelling hours, Katrina and Elizabeth finally met face to face...erm...mask to face. AS the moderator (Elizabeth's new sock monkee puppet - thanks Marta)posed the first question to Katrina; "So, how do you feel?", Elizabeth immediatly jumped in to add "Cause you look like crap!" Revel in the love as the debates begin. Kat is out of the vampiric grip of the blood harvesting machine, and while the Stem Cell Recount has begun (no really, they have to count them, and no, hanging stem cells don't count)we all wait to see when Elizabeth will receive "the Harvest" , probably for dinner at six-ish. We sign off for now to the Katrina singing "Give a little bit of my blood for you" by Supertramp.

2008-09-11T13:41:00.004-04:00

More news from the Stem Cell Convention....

Things are going well, and Katrina has spent the last hour sleeping on the job. There was a bit of excitement earlier as they had to clear her line. It turns out if you make your body bleed for 7 hours straight, it will try to close the hole you're bleeding from...who knew? Katrina reminds voters that Elizabeth has attended a church her whole life with a radical Pastor who insists on preacing about hope, love and peace - like that works! We're gonna bomb the cancer! I know, I know.... voters are worried about gas too - so was Katrina who had to share a room with this reporter after he ate Drew's BBQ last night (Hamburgers were sooooo good - why do I eat too many?)

Katrina's stem cell's continue the call for change. 100% of voters in New Orleans have already voted for Elizabeth, though none of them will admit why. It also turns out a bunch of people in Florida who meant to vote for Katrina voted for Elizabeth by accident; Apparently the ballot was confusing. Stay tuned, as we'll be reporting even as the results come in , late into the night...

2008-09-11T11:07:00.004-04:00

Stem Cell Convention Coverage continues...(Read first post from today below if you're just tuning in)

We're (Senior Correspondent Mom Bauerlein + Charlie Fitzpatrick) here on the floor with New York Delegate Elizabeth who has woken up and will today accept her party's nomination for stem cells - or at least her sisters donation of them. Spokespeople for the Bauerlein campaign said she was willing to reach across the aisle to work with the Fitzpatrick delegation, even though earlier, Katrina had said that Elizabeth's stem cells lacked in the foreign affairs experience needed to lead her to victory. (Before donating could begin this morning Katrina was required to list every country she's ever visited, causing Marty to be stricken with a handcramp)Elizabeth said that leaving the country once makes her stem cells more than qualified, and offered to put lipstick on them if it would help. (I wanted to know how many foreign affairs my wife had to make her so experiecned, and then realized - no I don't.) Elizabth further went on to say that her "stem cells had supreme executive powers within her own body which makes them the logical choice to assume the role of stem cells in Elizabeth's body." Additionally, she raised the point that "since Katrina's cells have spent so much time in other countries, she may not legally still be able to run for office of Elizabeth's Stem Cells, and may have to settle for the Vice Stem Cell position." We've just had word that Brian Williams has offered to moderate the debate between the stem cells. Coverage will continue throughout the day.

2008-09-11T09:05:00.003-04:00

We interupt your regularly scheduled blog for this important Stem Cell Convention Coverage, Charlie Fitzpatrick reporting.

So, assuming Elizabeth's millions of minions are anxiously awaiting word, and both of our blogging beauties - not to be confused with bathing beauties - are hospitalized, I thought I'd post for them. Katrina has now officially been assimilated by The Borg (have a Star Trek person explain it to you). It turns out resistance really is futile. Her blood is being piped out of her and into a machine that looks like a map of the Boston T. Once there, it's being spun around like the ingredients of Elizabeth's favorite Margarita. As the Stem Cells (Go Fightin Stem Cell's!) are seperated, her blood gets sent through a "Hot Line" which heats her blood up before returning it to her body through a series of tubes, not unlike the ones that our President thinks run 'the internets'. Nurse Marty has been awesome, and even brought us "The Machine That Goes Ping". Katrina has one good hand, which she is texting furiously with, and so stand things here at the Kraft center. More to come as it happens....

Oh - you wanna hear about Elizabeth too? We'll have our field reporters (Mom and Dad Bauerlein) report in as soon as we can establish a link. (Which means Elizabeth is still sleeping)

2008-09-09T15:25:00.004-04:00

It's all about us.

Mom is massaging Elizabeth's aching ankles, I've got the recliner and Elizabeth is managing to keep the pizza she just ate down, so we're calling this visit a win.

My pelvis hurts. Could be because there are millions more stem cells than should be in there. Elizabeth told the nurse she could throw out mom if she gets out of line, but that she had to be nice to me--I figure I have until the harvest on Thursday to remain unconditionally in her good graces. After that I'll have to start trying again.

On Sunday, I had my first injections and tutorial to "Do It Yourself." Erica kept me company while I was waiting quite anxiously for my hormone injection lesson, while Carol and Marta visited Elizabeth..thank God for sisters. Since then, I have been shooting up every morning. Caroline sent an email. It made me laugh. Thought I'd share:

Top 6 songs to sing while getting injections:
6) Who Shot Ya by Notorious BIG
5) Big Shot by Billy Joel
4) Shot in the Dark by Ozzy Osbourne
3) Shot through the Heart (or whatever body part) by Bon Jovi
2) Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar

and the number 1 song:
1) I Shot the Sheriff (or the person who is injecting me) by Bob Marley.

Unfortunately, I'm the one injecting me, so shooting myself just results in more injections, but the sentiment is certainly appreciated. In the grand scheme of things, the injections are really not that painful. It's the throbbing ache in every bone of my body that is making things rather uncomfortable. I can sense relief just around the corner...Thursday, 7 AM.... The nurse says if I am feeling up to it, I may be able to come see my stem cells get infused into Elizabeth after the harvest...it will be my last opportunity to give those little suckers a pep talk before they get to work, so I will see what I can do.

So the theme for the day: Songs relating to injections/shooting up. Enjoy, you addicts.

And today's shout out is to those of you leaving comments--it's helping the group up here from feeling so isolated from the group down there (or where ever you are!) So thanks guys! You ROCK!

2008-09-06T17:51:00.004-04:00

Call
DON’T FALL!

If she’s the one who can’t deal with germs, how come we have to wear the masks and gloves!?!?! (We warn you in advance, this may not be as funny for you as it is for us; could be because we’ve been re-breathing our own carbon dioxide for over an hour.)

Erica, Marta, Carol and Katrina here; We’re visiting Elizabeth in the AAM Suite (All About Me). In 20 hours, she’s managed to squirrel away milk, peaches, some yoghurt and THREE Stewarts Black Cherry Sodas…and she has an order in for some Ben & Jerry’s (the fridge has a tiny freezer). And do you know she gets room service here? With sirloin beef tips? And Texas French Toast with real maple syrup? And (someone hold Dad back) ice cream sodas?! To which Carol says, “Are you limited to 3 meals a day?”

So Elizabeth just gave Erica this huge Cheshire cat grin and Erica returned it…except you couldn’t see it through the mask. So Erica told her, “I know you can’t see it, but I swear I’m smiling!!”….10 minute later we had this:

Not to be confused with this:

At this time, we’d like to give a couple of shout-outs to some special people; First off, to Pastor. Elizabeth wants to make sure that everyone appreciates his unique humor. (Ian can you pass me the milk?) Next, we’d like to recognize Katie, the nurse on duty who brought us a red Sharpie and some extra masks. We like Katie; she’s like an honorary sister—like it or not. (She also took our picture.) Finally, a shout out to an Overachieving Hallmark Supporter; Elizabeth received her first funny get-well card today from Caroline McDonough. So get with the program people; right now, Elizabeth has a bulletin board with 1 card, 8 push-pins and 2 lips-embellished face masks…frankly, it’s a little off-putting.

Okay, now we have to go; Carol has the smallest bladder known to man, and we aren’t allowed to use Elizabeth’s bathroom….so before she pops and causes a sanitary crisis, we need to stop laughing and get her to a public toilette. Leave some love.

FROM ELIZABETH:
In case you're curious, the other two face masks are located on my mini-fridge and one on my nurse’s board.

2008-09-02T15:18:00.003-04:00

That time of year

It is once again that time of year.
Children everywhere are setting their alarm clocks and eagerly awaiting that first BEEEEEP!

Teachers are excitedly setting up their classrooms, getting ready for the bright and eager learners who will soon file in.

Parents are doing last minute shopping to replace last years "uncool" backpack with this years model, so that their delightful cherub will look appropriate.

That's right. It's back to school.
...for everyone else!

Since I don't have my own classroom to prepare for this year, I have decided to make fun of those who do. So, to all of my teacher friends, student friends and parent friends, na na na.

On to other news. I am currently in Boston. I left on Sunday so that I could attend my sister Erica's first house party out of her new apartment in Boston. She and Drew have a back yard. It's actually big and, if you ignore the eye sore of a collapsing shed, pretty nice. They had a great BBQ and then it was back to the real world for them as well. Erica just started her Grad program and has (shudders) homework. So, I got to make fun of her as well. (Awww. Who has to do reading for class?)

Mom is driving up with the rest of my stuff on Thursday, along with a couch for Erica and Drew...I think. And then I go into the hospital on Friday. Katrina, Carol, and Marta will all be along on Saturday.

In the mean time, I've been sleeping late and exploring the area. There is a park just North of Erica. It's a lot of walking and biking routes, which won't do me much good after the transplant, but we did find one nice area that is on a hill over looking the lake, with a cleared area and picnic tables. I think that will work very well for sketching, or writing, or painting, post transplant.

As far as medical stuff that recently happened? I had a PET Scan and a bone marrow biopsy last Thursday. The PET showed even further improvement. But I don't have exact numbers. I was a little distracted at the time do to the GIANT NEEDLE being shoved into my hip bone. You know. When I read over what I wrote last time about the bone marrow biopsy, I some time wonder if I didn't, maybe, exaggerate. But, Nope! It really is that f*%#ing painful. I was limping around for 3 days. And I still can't sit to long in the same position before it starts to twinge.

Finally, before I end this post, I would like to send one final back to school shout out to one of my minions. He gets the "goes to extreme to avoid the first day of High School Award". This particular minion had surgery last week. It looked originally to be appendicitis, but instead he had surgery to repair damage to his intestines.

Now Ian, I can see "accidentally" swallowing one magnet, sort of....but two? Not even I could pull that off.

He is going to be out of commission for awhile, and as such will be missing the first week of 9th grade. So, everyone send a shout out to Ian. Or feel free to make fun of him and mock him mercilessly. I know I have.

That's all for now, I'll see if I can get an update out on Saturday.
-Elizabeth

2008-08-25T18:24:00.002-04:00

Elizabeth’s HOW TO

I know, it’s been a while since I updated. Sorry. I hope everyone is having a great summer. Mine has been a little on the busy side. Last weekend Mom, Katrina and I went to Boston to do the Dana Farber orientation thing. We went up on Sunday to help Erica move into her new place with Drew. Well, Katrina and Mom went to move Erica into her new place, I met up with my friend Julie and the two of us played in Boston for the day. What…I can’t lift heavy things. (tee hee)
It was a pretty great day. We went to Faneuil Hall to grab lunch and then walked to Boston Common and picnicked. Talk about ideal. Picnicking in Boston Common on a Sunday afternoon. Jules and I sat there for 3 ..Maybe 4 hours just catching up. It was great.
You have all probably seen the notes from Jules in the comment section. She was my college room mate and is now married and expecting her first child. (You can see the baby bump in the picture) It was great to catch up with her.
The next day was just an endless run of blood tests, meetings and information sessions. Katrina had her own information sessions to go to while I was at mine. It was a busy morning and then we left for home.
This past weekend was nice as well. My father’s birthday was Friday and we all went to a German Restaurant in Connecticut for dinner. Then on Sunday, Pastor had a beautiful service of Godspeed for Katrina and me. It was really nice.
This coming Wednesday I will have a PET Scan and a bone marrow biopsy, but the rest of this week is just getting ready for Boston.
Now, I know you are all wondering about the title of this entry. On our way up to Boston, Katrina and I got a little punchy and started finding everything funny. So, here are the fruits of that rather comedic ride.

(PRIOR TO THE TRIP)
HOW TO MAKE AN ENTIRE ROOM GROAN? Puns
“So, are you going to be much longer.” – Katrina (on phone)
“No, they are just de accessing my port now.” – Elizabeth
“No,...They are ...deporting you.” –Dr Ahmed

HOW YOU KNOW WHEN YOU NEED PLATLETS? Nose bleeds
Sitting in the Westchester Medical Center Cafeteria eating buffalo and ranch French fries.
(Wiping mouth with napkin) Hmmmm......that buffalo sauce looks really red.

(ON THE TRIP)
HOW TO DISTRACT MOM WHILE SHE’S DRIVING? Give her something interesting to look at.
“Oh I like that car....why is there a chicken hanging from the back of it.” -Mom

HOW TO UPSET ELIZABETH ON A DAY THAT SHE ACTUALLY SPENT MORE THAN TWO MINUTES GETTING READY? Have mom wear the same shirt as her...just in a different color.
“Are you wearing my shirt?” -Elizabeth

HOW TO KNOW IF THE SIGN PERTAINS TO YOU OR NOT? Bring Katrina with you. She’ll let you know.
“Do you see that sign that says “slow traffic stay right” ....that means you.” -Katrina

HOW TO MAKE JULIE’S DAY? Show her a new function on her phone.
“I was very excited to get a text message. It’s the first I’ve ever gotten.” -Jules

HOW TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN APART? Identify them by their mental disorder.
“You know, they say the patient picks up some of the characteristics of the donor” -Nurse
“I wonder what will happen when Katrina’s OCD meets Elizabeth’s ADD” -Mom

2008-08-09T09:31:00.003-04:00

Oh this is what it can be like...

Just wanted to update everyone on Elizabeth's last round of VIPER. She's a trooper. She started this Monday and continued for many hours Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. In fact, Thursday, she even made it to a pre-transplant dentist appointment where she successfully managed not to yack all over the dental hygenist. Although perhaps "typical" fare for many chemo patients, by Elizabeth standards, this road has been rougher than usual with those dreaded side-kick Nausea and his his good-for-nothing pal Vomit long out-living their welcome yesterday and into the night. We hope for a better day today, but in the meanwhile, send a little love...

In other news, both Elizabeth and I were re-tested by Dana Farber this week to double-check our "match" status. Strange, to have your blood drawn and then head to Mailboxes, Etc to ship it to Boston. We also have separate orientations (for donors and recipients) on August 18 at DFCI; we each got packages with agendas and forms and folders--I need to answer a questionnaire about my life--it's like getting accepted to college!! Well, a sort-of freakish college where they poke you with needles so they can play with your blood and ask questions like "In the past 12 months, have you been held in jail, prison, juvenile detention or lock-up for more than 72 continuous hours?" (....well, Elizabeth's 30th b-day did get pretty crazy after the Daily Show, but luckily, that was only 24 hours....) In anycase, the transplant is scheduled for the second week of September. More on that later.

So I leave you now with a request to send a little ____, all you need is ____, ____ lifts us up where we belong . . . (thanks to Ewan)

2008-07-30T14:03:00.015-04:00

Top Italy Moments

Most historical: Exploring the Roman Colosseum and wandering through the remains of the Forum... (funny thing happened...)

Honorary sibling: Oo, oo! The waiter in Rome who (without any provocation—we promise!) mocked Mom in English all evening! Of course then he mocked Katrina in German (which was frustrating because he spoke it as well as he spoke Italian). How come waitstaff in other countries know their third languages better than most educated Americans know their second?

Most spontaneous: Random acts of singing at various cathedrals, chapels, outside restaurants, inside restaurants and even in front of the Pieta at the Vatican (although, we wouldn’t suggest trying the latter if you actually want to see the rest of St. Peter’s).

Mountaintop Moment: Fighting to the top of Montelpulciano in a wind storm sans wheelchair victoriously arriving to churchbells heralding your success (at approximately 12 noon) while helping Jenny keep her dress within an appropriate distance from her legs.

Most picturesque: Enjoying the sunset in Pienza surrounded by family and friends with black truffles, cream sauce, homemade pasta and unending bottles of red accompanied by the soft click of cameras in the background...and knowing there were two more perfect sunsets to come.

Most spiritual: Attending Vespers at a Tuscan monastery which consisted of 15 minutes of responsive chanting in Montelcino followed by participation in the morning Mass ... which was held in Latin! Oh, and did we mention the entire chapel is constructed out of travertine—it was “marble-ous”!

Most musical: Performing our concert at the Basilica of San Lorenzo in Florence, featuring the lovely and talented soloist Elizabeth Bauerlein, who sang Vivaldi’s aria with her usual grace and seemingly effortless ease. (Direction under the "internationally recognized Maestro John Scott Marrone.®")

Most humbling: Multiplying everything by 1.57 to discern how much you were spending in “real money.” To add insult to injury, realizing that the € 0.79 (roughly $1.30) box wine is better than most $10 bottles in the States (and without the screw top, it was only € 0.59!)

Most ubiquitous: Delighting in some stracciatella, amarena, baccio, panna cotta, malaga and, of course tiramisu. Gelatto, gelatto...how we miss thee... (but not the additional pounds we gained while consuming thee...)

Most raucous: At Il Latini, we not only consumed an inordinate amount of food & spirits, but afterward, we sang the most raucous version of Va Pensiero (playing now)... and that was before the after-dinner limoncello. (Thankfully, we had a private room!) Upon departing the restaurant, we continued our revelry on the late-night streets of Florence...with the three tenors stealing the show!

Most artistic: Being alternately jealous of Elizabeth’s beautiful sketches of quaint Tuscan alleys and the expert photography of Erica & Drew. Maybe Elizabeth could post one of her sketches here?

Most touristy: Although some may argue it is kitsch, we agree our gondola ride along the Grand Canal and through the back alleys in Venice is one of the only ways to really see the front doors, terraces and facades as they were intended. And we managed to finish our ride just prior to the only rain we experienced while in Italy—bonus!

Most explosive: Experiencing the 45-minute Feast of the Redeemer fireworks in Venice among 100,000 Italians and visitors packed onto Piazza San Marco; the perfect finale to our musical tour.
*************************************************************************************

So, Katrina did the above update for me. Except for the phots, which I added. And there will be further posts coming. But I wanted to let everyone know that I have made a decision regarding my treatment. I will be having another round of VIPER at Westchester, but then I will be heading to Boston in September to have my stem cell transplant. It's called a mini transplant and I won't be in the hospital as long, but I will need to remain in Boston for a month or so.

I'll be doing my next VIPER starting next week. So, send me some positive thoughts, and don't forget to comment.

-Elizabeth

2008-07-24T15:58:00.002-04:00

WHO AM I?

"Look out the window to the right everyone...Sunflowers!"

2008-07-03T17:23:00.003-04:00

Quick update, because when you are planning a TRIP TO ITALY, who has time?

Elizabeth had a clean PET scan last Thursday which means Dr. Ahmed feels she is good to go with the stem cell transplant when we get back from ITALY!!!!

Elizabeth also has a consult with Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston on Monday so she can weigh her options and decide where she wants to have the procedure done when we're home from ITALIA...

Apparently a side effect of VIPER is to shop til you drop; Elizabeth has bought (and I do not exaggerate here) 4 skirts, 6 tops, 3 pairs of capris and a pair of shoes in the last five days. Do you know Elizabeth? Good, then you know shopping is normally, to her, a 4-letter word. Why the clothes? She's going to (sh!) italy.

So in any case, until July 21, try to focus your messages around the following pre-approved themes: gelato, Venetian glass, mozzarella cheese, Michelangelo, pasta and wine (either color); also the new official c-word is colosseum (since Elizabeth likes to see broken buildings that no one uses any more...)

Oh, by the way, we leave next Wednesday for ITALY, so send some buon viaggio wishes and we'll post again (probably from ROMA!)

2008-06-17T09:28:00.006-04:00

"How many now?"

My birthday was awesome. Even though I was sick. (I managed to catch a head cold) I had a great day. A huge thank you goes out to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. It was the icing on my birthday cake.
So here is a run down. When I woke up I was still debating if I was going to work or not. I felt awful. I was coughing and sneezing and I had a sore throat. Technically, I should probably have called Dr. Ahmed because it was a low count week, but I was afraid he would make me come in, and I refused to spend my birthday at the doctor's office...or worse in the hospital. Anyway, I'm not feeling well, but I get up to go shower anyway, and when I look out the front window what do I see? The entire driveway lined in balloons. I went outside to make sure I wasn't seeing things, and there is a giant card on my car from the Roglers and the Weissleders. (So a specially thanks goes out to them ...and Ally and Tori who got out of bed a 5 to come and decorate).
After running back inside and waking up my mother to show her, I got my camera and snapped some pictures for the blog. At this point I decide to not go to work. Instead I run downstairs and log on to the blog to update. But low and behold, my blog was already updated. Katrina had posted a really cute picture of my when I was younger. I do look very excited about something. I think that might have been Disney World. I added my pictures on to the bottom of her update. And then I took some Tylenol Cold and went back to bed for an hour or so.
I felt much better later, and I had a nice and calm morning. I watched a rerun of the Daily Show. Then I checked the blog again. It was amazing. I had 60+ comments. All of them Happy Birthday messages. It took 3 minutes just to read through them, and by the time I was done there were 6 more.
Which led directly to the game for the day..."How many comments are there now?". Every half hour or so, I would start to guess how many comments were on the blog and then check to see if I was right. ...It's a really entertaining game.
As most of you know, mom had gotten me tickets to the Daily Show as part of my birthday present. This was the third time we went. There were 8 tickets so it was Mom and Dad, Katrina and Chuck, Carol, Marta and Steve (who were Daily Show newbies) and myself. Marta decided to work from the city on Wedensday, but everyone else was meeting at the house a 2:00 to head down.
As we were waiting for everyone, I was playing "How many comments are there now?" in my head. But to show how much the sisters are alike, both Carol and Katrina came in and the first question they each asked was, "How many are there now?"
It got even worse when we got inthe car and Steve let us know he was checking the blog from his phone. From that point on, we all played with frequent updates and Steve forced to read them all out loud.
When we got to the show, Katrina and I hopped out and everyone else went to park the car. Terri was, luckily enough, right outside the building, so Katrina and I got to be moved inside. That's right ...we're not just VIP, we are VVIP. My entire family came in and as we were wiating for Marta to show, Carol takes out a shiny "Happy Birthday" sash. ..and a purple boa ...and a pink cowboy hat with rhinestones. Terri took one look at all of this and then said, "That's f*&%ed up." And it was.. it truly was.
However, it was also pay back for Carol's 40th birthday. That's right. We made Carol wear this same getup in cape cod and she saved it all for this occasion. (No one hold a grudge quite like a bauerlein). After I was fully outfitted, Terri had a special treat for me. I got to go backstage and into the offices. And everyone was wishing me a happy birthday. (I wonder how they could tell) It was pretty cool. When she pointed out a closed door and told me it was Jon Stewarts office, I had to stop myself from walking up and knocking.
Later on, after Marta go there, Chuck openned up a bottle of sparkling cider. We toasted to me of course, and then it was time for another round of "How many now?"The show was awsome, and when we were done Jon came over and spoke with me again. Katrina and I told him about our version of Hurricane Katrina and the new plan for the stem cell transplant. It was pretty cool. (That's right...Jon Stewart knows who I am..sort of)
Afterwards we went to Charlie Browns for dinner and I got my presents. (An ipod from my parent and itrip from marta and steve.) Then it was back home for some sleep since I was exhausted. And of course to finish out the evening, were pulling up to the house and played one final round of "How many now?"

2008-06-10T18:57:00.003-04:00

Happy 30th Birthday Elizabeth!

You always see the world with this much surprise, joy and wonder....we know that will never change.

We love you!

Elizabeth writes:

Thanks to everyone who is commenting. And to my sister for posting last night. (Where did you get that picture?) And a special thanks to the Weissleder/Muller and Rogler Families. This is what was in the driveway this morning. (The card says Buon Compleanno)

2008-05-29T19:34:00.004-04:00

Katrina here...

To paraphrase some ancient wisdom, commencement speeches originate from the belief that one should not send graduates off into the "real world" without duly sedating them first. Irony not withstanding, this very quote was cited by the commencement speaker (who coincidentally was the President of Westchester Medical Center) for the class of 2008 of Mercy College. Despite the (apparently requisite) tedious speech that followed this ever-so-witty opening, the Bauerlein family celebrated the day as only we can, by mocking mom in the car on the way down to the Westchester County Center. What could bring our spirits to such a ridiculously high level?

ELIZABETH GRADUATED WITH HER MASTERS IN EDUCATION!!!!!

(TA-DA!!!)

Perhaps the first commencement speaker didn't hit home, but I think the student speaker kindof hit the nail on the head. He spoke of the challenges so many graduate students face when returning to school to complete their Masters; of all the external commitments and pressures such as jobs, families, and busy lives outside of a 3-hour weeknight seminar. He reminded graduates and families alike of the sacrifices made, the battles fought and the very late nights and group efforts that brought each of them to that day and at that place. And as he spoke, I thought about Elizabeth matriculating in her program in the fall of 2004 and what was to come....

So Elizabeth pretty much rocks & and we're kinda proud of her. She's mostly proud of the colorful hood they give you as part of the Masters robes (which by the way are a rip off--anyone want to buy a slightly used Masters robe for Mercy College?? 1/2 price...) But don't that all that mushy stuff get in the way of some quality blogging material:

Like the creative solutions for afixing a motarboard to one's head when one doesn't have any hair (and no, Elizabeth wouldn't let me try stapling it to her scalp. And no, the stodgy women in the faculty lunch room didn't seem to grasp why the two of us thought that was comedy gold.)

Or perhaps the President of WMC who actually had the nerve to say, and I quote, "It's all about me...," to which Carol, Mom, and I retorted in unison "He obviously hasn't met Elizabeth" as Dad just shook his head in silent resignation (and Elizabeth's godson Matt slept in a vertical position which no human being should be able to maintain while unconscious).

Or the stupid woman who stood up and began fanning herself at precisely the same moment that they called "Elizabeth June Bauerlein," and how I knocked her unconscious with my chair and the paramedics had to administer CPR...okay, okay, so that last one is an exageration but the rest of it is true.

In other good news from yesterday, Elizabeth has heard from Dr. Ahmed's office that she will be able to travel to Italy this summer, even if she's not quite in remission yet. WOO-HOO! Upon return, she will either (1) have another round of VIPER (not quite another round of vino rosso but we'll do what we must) OR (2)she and I will embark our stem cell journey together. But the point is, there is Italy first. Oooo! International blogging!!! More on that in the future...

For now, we are celebrating. As dad mentioned in the car, 4 kids have Masters Degrees, there's just 1 more to go (apparently, when you have 5 children, you become checkmarks on the "to-do" list).

(PSSST!!! Come a little closer......I don't want her to hear...there's one more thing...okay okay that's close enough--we don't need your greasy face juice on the screen....Elizabeth's 30th birthday is coming up....June 11....don't forget to send some love her way....NOT NOW...on JUNE 11!)

2008-05-21T14:05:00.002-04:00

And there goes the hair.

I started this entry yesterday, but I never finished. And now, it has a new title. That's right, this morning I woke up with a bald spot and a dead rat. Ok...not really a rat. It was a clump of hair. But that's fine, because it's f*&%ing painfull. You should all remember this from the first ...and second time my hair fell out. It hurts. Like tiny little needles puncturing your scalp. So this morning I dug out a scarf and wrapped up my head. And if the pain keeps up, I will probably get rid of the rest of it tonight.

On to other news.

Guess who's graduating.

ME.

That's right. I have finished my masters in Education. I will be graduating this semester. This doesn't mean I have my certification though. That is still waiting on the two CLEPS. I'm not quite sure when I will take those.

As of last post, we were waiting on my crash. Dr. Ahmed said it was coming, Denise said it was coming, everyone said it was coming. And maybe it did, but I missed it. On monday I left a period early from school to make it down to Westchester for an anticipated transfusion. Which never happened because my counts were already on the rise.

Want to know my secret for bringing up my counts?

It's easy. Plan a ridiculously busy weekend and then never sleep. Doesn't make sense, does it?

But that's what happened. We had the concert on Saturday. I got up at 8:30, had a nice leasurely breakfast and then Erica and I started to memorize our handbell parts. (That's right, we still had not memorized them. )
Then I worked on some of the music, ran through my solo once and tried not to panic. By 3:30 I was at rehearsal and on my feet for the rest of the day. (OK,...so I sat down once during the concert.)
Then, after the concert, I helped Erica chop up some fruit. (Two pineapples, some Kiwi) Why were we chopping up fruit? Was it just some mad post concert jonesing? Nope. Our nephews confirmation was this Sunday and Erica was to bring a fruit platter for dessert.
I then typed up a quick little talk for church in the morning. I had been asked to say a few words about what it is like working with the youth of Grace. I got up after 6 hours of sleep and spoke at early service. Had a brief sunday school class, and then sang with the choir for late service while Zach and Caitlin (cousin) were confirmed. Not a solo, I sang with the choir.
Then we had a party. I was going to help set up, stay for all of the appropriate photos, then go home for a nap,...but no, Carol insisted that all stay and dance. (There was a DJ. Young...but good)
And then I went to work on Monday. In fact, I have been to work this entire week. It's been working out well so far. I'm learning Italian by being the Italian sub. They review for their final, and I get to learn Italian.
OK, I have to get ready for class, but before I run, you should see the funny hahas that Erica posted. For those of you who haven't seen me recently, I have a giant scar from my biopsy. So Erica sent this.

Top 10 Ways to Respond To Nosy Questions About Scars
10. Never go to Mother's Tattoo Parlor when you're high.
9. You think that's bad, you should see the exit wound.
8. I self-mutilate. Don't you?
7. Those damn flesh-eating bacteria are spreading, slowly but surely.
6. That's where the government put the chip to track my movements.
5. It's the only way to smuggle drugs these days.
4. What scar? What are you talking about? Oh my God! That's HUGE!
3. I had to sell organs to get off the street.
2. I should have listened when Mom said not to scratch that mosquito bite.
1. That's where my Siamese twin was attached.

All right folks...that's all for today.
-Elizabeth

2008-05-13T21:19:00.002-04:00

Hello out there.

So, this has been an interesting week. Overall, not much to report. Friday was nice, but I kind of overdid it a bit. I made it through dinner and almost to dessert, before I went lighthead and started to pass out. I had my friend Georgette lead me out of the resteraunt so that I wouldn't trip over anything. Then of course movement made me sick so that wasn't pleasant. And then mom had to calm down the waiter who thought it was the quickest case of food poisoning he had ever seen. So, mom and I left before the dessert and coffee, but I think the evening was still a success.
Saturday was a lazy day and I skipped church on Sunday. We did go up to my cousin Barbara's for Mother's Day, which was very nice. The sisters even went snooping at some of the model homes in Barb's neighborhood to see what they were like. It was kind of amusing. They all brought their drinks, and I don't dring when I do chemo. (I try to limit my types of poison at any given time.) However, when we left the last house, Marta was holding me up on one side and Katrina on the other, while Carol got the door. So, you know that those women working the open house thought I was drunk. We didn't stop to explain.
I played hookie from work both yesterday and today. I took my last Kytrl yesterday, and I wanted to make sure my stomache would hold with out it. The morning wasn't great, but I was mostly fine for the rest of the day.
So, tomorrow it's back to work with a quick stop after to see Dr. Ahmed and have my blood work done. See how the chemo is treating my system. I also have to start memorizing and working on music for this weekend. For those of you who don't know. I am in my church choir....along with quite a few of my family. We are going to sing in Italy this summer. (Don't look at me like that. I know I'll been in the hospital for a month. ...But I AM going to Italy.)
So as a practice run to our Italy concerts we are performing on Saturday. However, I have been more than a little neglectiful in learning the pieces. Most of them I already know, so thats a bit of a relief, but there is one piece that I do need to learn. Oh. and last year I suggested that we bring the handbells with us to Italy. It was a great recruitment measure for those who wanted to go to Italy, but couldn't sing. We now have a very full handbell choir, but our insane director got it into his head that we should memorize the piece. I have yet to do that either. On the plus side I practiced my solo for the first time with him today. It's not bad. I have to breathe a lot more than usual. One of the draw backs of chemo and surgery, but it doesn't suck. So, I think it should be OK.
So here is my gratuitous plug. We need money to pay, not only for the orchestra here, but also for the hired orchestra in Italy. To raise that money, we need to put people in the seats on Saturday. So, if you could.

Saturday May 17th at 7:30pm

Grace Lutheran Church in Yorktown Heights

Admission is $10

It's going to be a blast. And you can come see the last time I will perform with this much hair for at least a year. I think I have had thinning or no hair for every concert for the last 2 years. You can also feel free to point and laugh at the handbells. We won't mind.

Alright. I'm going for an early bed tonight. I have work in the morning.

-Elizabeth

2008-05-09T08:49:00.002-04:00

Back in the saddle again....
OR
I remember this feeling. I didn't like it.

So, apparently I have been remiss in my updating. For once, it wasn't because of lack of motivation. I just haven't had the energy. VIPER is not pleasant. On Wednesday night I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I big one....like a semi.
Today I'm down to maybe a small car...a beetle of something.

So, here was/is the run down for the week. On Monday I had 3 hours of rituxan followed by a Velcade push. (The V and R of VIPER) Not pleasant, especially since I got some cramps from the steriod they gave me to prevent the reaction I have Rituxan. You all remember the reaction, right? Tickle in throat becomes hairball becomes unable to breathe? Anyway, no major reaction, but the amount the gave me left me in achy pain.

On tuesday, I had an hour of premeds, 2 hours of I-fex, (I in VIPER), 2 hours of VP-16 (the E in VIPER...don't ask) and 1 hour of Cisplatin (the P in VIPER...I told you not to ask.)

Wednesday was a repeat of Tuesday, and Thursday was a repeat of Wednesday. Except I got another Velcade push.

So that brings us to today. I feel hung over, wrung out, fuzzy and shakey...at best. But I'm at work and attempting to not let on how much a nap would do me good right now. When work is done, I will run down to Dr. Ahmed's for my Neulasta shot. For those of you who don't recall this is the shot to regrow my bone marrow. Keep up my immune system. Which we expect to crash any day now.

Then later on tonight. I'm going out with the Women's Group for dinner. We cancelled our original plan. It was supposed to be a progressive dinner. Appetizers at one house, dinner at another and dessert at a third. Excellent concept...except dinner was supposed to be at my house. Not really feeling it. Anyway, we are headed out to a resteraunt instead to have other people wait on us. It's like having minions. You just have to tip them.

Other than the above, I have had a very blah kind of week. Mom was with me for most of the chemos. Katrina came tuesday afternoon to spell her for a little while. Amy sat with me most of the day on Thursday. A big thanks to both Amy and Lynn for the meals. Dad does appreciate being fed.

There is probably more stuff to let you all know about, but I need to get ready for my next class. I really hope the kids don't figure out how tired I am. They can sense fear you know.

I'll update more later. I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still here and kicking.
-Elizabeth

2008-05-04T22:22:00.002-04:00

Here comes the story of the hurricane....

As some of you may have noticed, we have made some revisions to the site. Music has been added, as well as a new contributing writer. So combine all of this together, and you have a huge clue as to my perfect, 10 point donor match.

Hurricane Katrina is coming to town. It's about time her name started having a positive conotation. I still want to speak to my doctor's about some things, and I will have that opportunity tomorrow, so in the meantime. Katrina is a perfect match...Erica sadly is not. And Georgette will let you all know who and how much you won. Wish me luck on day 1 of chemo tomorrow.
-Elizabeth

2008-05-04T08:26:00.002-04:00

Hmm....where am I? What am I doing here?

Hellloooo??? Is anyone out there?

Elizabeth...???

2008-05-01T07:28:00.003-04:00

So as not to cause worry....

I have the results of the sibling donor matching.....But I'm not going to tell.

Suffice it to say, it's good news.

So, the game still remains. However, I am eliminating the "neither" option. You can bet on Katrina, Erica or both. Here is a recap of the rules.

It's $10 a bet. Either Katrina, Erica or both. $30 will cover the spread.If you are interested in playing, checks can be made out to either me or my mom, and the game will be run by my friend Georgette Muller. This is her email. gmuller5@gmail.comIf you drop her an email, to let her know the check is coming, she will add you to the list, and let you know where to send the check. The game is run as a 50/50. I keep half (hey...I won't be able to work soon) and the other half will be divided up amongst the winners. Bet's can be taken as late as Sunday morning the 4th, but I will be posting the results of the donor matching Sunday night.A few things to keep in mind. 1. Erica says the way the testing probably work, is they will put both blood samples (mine and theirs) into a test tube and see if they fight. This would seem to knock Katrina out of the running.2. On the other hand, this is Katrina. If anyone could find a genetic edge it would be her.

If you want to know the results sooner than Sunday, I am waiting for at least a response of 25 people. (tee hee I'm evil)

So, on to the update.

On tuesday, Mom, Dad, Katrina, Erica and myself all met with an oncologist at Dana Farber in Boston. (This is where Erica works.) This was a second opionion sort of thing. I think it went well. It left us with some questions, but it put our mind at ease about others. They would have done exactly the same things as Dr. Ahmed up to this point. Nothing would have been different. They also agree with the next step of this plan.

The next step involves throwing salvage chemo at it until it goes away. I have two rounds of a chemo, then a PET scan to see what's going on. If I'm in complete remission, I move on to a stem cell transplant. If not, we throw more chemo at it. Dana Farber has recommend that when it comes time for the transplant, we give them a call to set up a consulatation with one of their transplant specialists.
As you all know, this time we will not be using my stem cells for the transplant. Either Katrina or Erica ....or both, will be donating stem cells to me. This is an allogenic transplant. Bit more tricky than donating to yourself, but my cells don't seem to be doing the job.
So here is something fun. The chemo I will be using is called VIPER. (You can imagine the hand signals we have already come up with to indicate viper.) It is a newer protocal and I think it's out of Sloan, although there is a study currently with it out of Columbia. So, there is your visualization. VIPER attacking Fred. Got it?

In other news, I am still trying to graduate this sememster. I will be taking my comprehensive exam tomorrow. It's a 7 hour exam...(6 essays) and I havn't study for it. I anticipated it going well. .... that was sarcastic.
Anyway, wish me luck. More to come later. Keep the bets coming!
-Elizabeth

2008-04-28T22:08:00.002-04:00

And we're back.....

I know. It's been a ridiculously long time since I posted. That was bad of me. In all honesty though,....not really sorry. I am however, sorry that I must reinstate the blog.
For those of you playing catchup...My cancer is back.
Long story very, very, very short....I went in for a routine PET scan and a hot spot showed up. A week later I'm in the hospital for a biopsy and a week after that I have confirmation that the spot is cancer. Same type as before.
The current plan is to do 2 rounds of a salvage chemo, followed by another stem cell transplant using a donor. I'm running to Dana Farber tomorrow to have a second opionion, but we are pretty sure it will be along the same lines.

The Game is afoot...
The cool thing is I got to submit both Erica and Katrina for consideration for donorage. And in typical Bauerlein fashion. They have made it a competition. When Katrina met Dr. Ahmed she asked him how she could get an edge.
Since so many people I spoke to want in on this, I'm openning it up to the general public.
It's $10 a bet. Either Katrina, Erica, both, or neither. $40 will cover the spread.
If you are interested in playing, checks can be made out to either me or my mom, and the game will be run by my friend Georgette Muller. This is her email. gmuller5@gmail.com
If you drop her an email, to let her know the check is coming, she will add you to the list, and let you know where to send the check.
The game is run as a 50/50. I keep half (hey...I won't be able to work soon) and the other half will be divided up amongst the winners. Bet's can be taken as late as Sunday morning the 4th, but I will be posting the results of the donor matching Sunday night.
A few things to keep in mind.
1. Erica says the way the testing probably work, is they will put both blood samples (mine and theirs) into a test tube and see if they fight. This would seem to knock Katrina out of the running.
2. On the other hand, this is Katrina. If anyone could find a genetic edge it would be her.

Ok folks. I know this is a crappy way to restart the blog. I'll let you know how the second opinion goes tomorrow. Not to mention the cool stuff I've been up to since the last post. Including my recent trip to Chicago to see my brother Paul and his wife, Gerri.
Don't forget to send in your bets for the game.
-Elizabeth

2007-09-18T11:44:00.000-04:00

Light the Night

Hello all. I am sorry for not updating recently. I'm a very lazy person. You all knew this already. What do you expect? Anyway, all is well with me. I'm currently student teaching at Austin Road Elementary School and I am doing a marvelous job, if I do say so myself. I love it. The kids are so small, and there are so many of them. An entirely new generation of minions for me to corrupt. Good times.
But that is not the purpose of this blog. In under two weeks my family will be walking in the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's "Light the Night". (Some family have already done so in their home states. Paul and Gerri and Gerri's brother Ken, walked in Chicago.) Our team is called the Bauerlein Brigade and we are walking to raise money for all that they have done for me. Since my mom has already written out most of this in several emails she has sent out, I'm just going to cut and paste from those.

[To be read in Mom's voice]

For starters - the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is a wonderful organization that in Elizabeth's case, has really been a blessing. I called them when Elizabeth was first diagnosed with Cancer, to see if they would help cover the expense of a wig. They did not. I thanked the woman that I was speaking to and before I could hang up....she said "wait, don't hang up... We can do lots of other things. Since then, she and I have become phone buddies and Denise Raptoulis helped me through the paper work to make Elizabeth eligible for a number of grants that they DID offer. During her first chemo round, this society covered $500.00 (in a direct check to Elizabeth) for medicines and treatments directly related to her chemo but not covered by her insurance. Then she got us $250.00 toward her wig from another agency. (Mind you, the wig cost $500.00 and she's never worn it....gotta love Elizabeth).
In addition, they publish a quarterly newsletter, telling us about what's out there in Cancer research and urging us to avail ourselves of lectures, group meetings, and counsiling.
So when Elizabeth had her relapse in the fall, I called my friend Denise and said can you help us again. Absolutely. We are currently awaiting for an additional $500.00 grant to help with uncovered chemo expenses with this go round.....and because their fiscal year for this program ends on July 1, she reminded me that I needed to submit the radiation charges not covered by insurance (Daily copay x 20 - 25 visits). I said, but she will be finished by the first week of July and Denises response was "well we can backdate for a few weeks". IN ADDITION, she put us onto another resource brand new this year also from the society, but not managed by her. If accepted in that program, they pay up to $1000.00 of any co-pay directly related to cancer. Elizabeth was accepted and they have agreed to pay the $500.00 co-pay for her hospital stay during the stem-cell transplant. They have also agreed to pay her up-coming COBRA bill up to $500.00.

So when I tell you that they are an amazing organization, I mean it. And of course they fund research too.

So the Light The Night that I signed The Bauerlein Brigade up for is held at Bear Mountain on September 29, 2007. Registration for the team begins at 5:00PM. There is food, games for kids, bands and festivities (all free) until about 7:00PM. Then they have the opening ceremonies, ribbon cutting and then a 3-l/2 mile walk around the lake. Team members carry red balloons that have a light inside (I assume not a candle), and survivors carry a white balloon, also with candle. One loop is all you do. The evening ends with either fireworks or a lazer show and it's all over by 10:00PM or so.

[Back to Elizabeth Voice]
So, if you are interested in giving please go to www.lightthenight.org and search up the Bauerlein Brigade. There are some pretty awful pictures of me posted there as well. Feel free to laugh and point.

I'm sure I'll update again at some point.
-Elizabeth

2007-08-04T22:03:00.000-04:00

Good News to be shared.

So. On thursday I had my first post treatment PET scan and all is clear. Of course Mom was so happy she cried and I just sort of ...deflated. I'd been a little tense. And then as we were driving home I called all the siblings and planned an spur of the moment FIDO party. What is FIDO. Acoording to Dr. Ahmed it is the "Fred is Dead Organization" that he plans to start. Anyway if you would like to arrange your own FIDO party, then just call up some friends, have everybody bring some food and supply the margaritas.
So, Thursday morning was tense, Thursday after noon was elation and Thursday night was ...well, I'm not sure drunken stupor is the appropriate turn of phrase...But we were all pretty happy.
And then today Carol played a charity soccer tournament for Cancer. Huge events lots of teams, and Carol's team wore ribbons with my name on them on their uniforms. And then they presented me with a soccer ball signed by the whole team. It was very nice. And especially moving considering this weeks good news.
I have more to update with later, but that's it for now.
-Elizabeth

2007-05-13T17:39:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day: Take 2

So, last year for mother’s day I wrote, what I thought to be a lovely, all encompassing and truthful statement about my mother. She seems to disagree, as she has asked what lovely thing I will write for her this year. I suggested that I simply re-post last years essay, but nope, that isn’t going to cut it either. So, here is a new attempt to express to my mother how much I love her.

I have always known that my mother was smart. She was able to coordinate our schedules and solve the logistical problems of our youth without even breaking a sweat. One child to soccer, while another is off to piano and a third is heading for a friends house...no problem. Dance for one, extra help for another, and all three over to the church for youth group...piece of cake. She got us everywhere we needed to go, on time and properly outfitted, even when we weren’t sure where we were running off to.

However, it wasn’t until these horrible past few years that I realized exactly how much I relied upon her. Balance Elizabeth’s check book because she can’t move right now, but first we have to make sure she has enough money to cover her latest co-pays? ...Done. Keep track of Elizabeth’s chemo/ radiation/ scan schedule while making sure she is taking the appropriate medications at the correct times...done. Provide the appropriate support and information for Elizabeth’s siblings and the rest of the family, so that they understand what is going to happen...done.

It really hit home when I watched her take a deep breath and sign the health proxy form at the hospital on the day I checked in for the stem cell transplant.

"I, Elizabeth Bauerlein, designate Milka Bauerlein as my Health Care Proxy to make health care decisions for me when I am mentally or physically unable."

One deep breath, then she signed.

I realized two things at that moment. The first, that this was as momentous for her as it was for me and that it carried the same level of responsibility for her that it carried for me.
And two, I wouldn’t have any one else do this but her. She isn’t a doctor, she isn’t even the most educated member of our family when it comes to oncology and cancer. But she is the only one I would trust with the decisions a medical proxy would be required to make.

She is the emotional rock and strength for our family and I think that my siblings would agree that, when it comes down to it, she is the one we would want with us in a crisis.
We love you Mommy.
-Elizabeth

2007-04-19T17:27:00.000-04:00

Back Home

OK. So, I'm out of the hospital and back home. I'm also exhausted because I
a. hate sleeping in hospitals, especially on beds that move
b. had horrible nightmares last night. Don't ask about what...you don't want to know.
c. Had to wait an additional 5 hours to start the discharge work, because the doctor on call was late. Really late.

However, I am out and I am grateful.
As far as the hospital stay went, it was a little surreal. I had a head CT, a chest CT, 2 chest X-rays and an EKG. Not mention, gave tons of blood, and other bodily fluids that I won't go into right now. All to have the doctor's come back and say. "Yes, you have pneumonia, but there is nothing that we can do about it in the hospital that you couldn't do at home. So go away."

I get the feeling that they could sense how much I didn't want to be there. So, now I'm home and on lots of meds. Apparently we have to watch me to make sure I don't get worse. I'd say watch me to make sure I get better, but I never felt bad so, that's not a great barometer.
I see doctor Ahmed next week, until then I'm just going about life like normal.

I'll keep you updated.
-Elizabeth

2007-04-16T22:13:00.000-04:00

Do you want the good news, or the bad news?

So, bright and early this morning....OK, not so bright...me or the morning. Mom and I got in the car and braved the Taconic and flooding for a 9 AM PET scan at Westchester Medical Center. Tired and wet, we made our way into the offices and were scanned with out delay. (Mostly because everyone else cancelled cause they were unable to get through the floods.)
Anyway, mom and I went out for an early lunch because my appointment was not until 2:30.
After we got back to the office, we spent a couple of hours waiting. A few minutes giving blood, and then three seconds of calm before Dr. Ahmed scared the crap out of us.
He comes back upstairs after looking at my scans and says, "You always like to defy my clinical work." Or something along those lines. So...cue the brief moments of terror.
"The good news is there is no sign of the lymphoma. It is dead. It is deader then dead."
Mom and I collectively sigh in relief.
"The bad news is you have a touch of pnemonia in your left lung and I'm admitting you to the hospital for treatment."
I think he hates me.
After arguing for 10 minutes and then violently raging for 20, (not to mention 5 minutes of threatening physical harm if he didn't let me go home) I finally excepted my fate. And after several frantic phone calls, consultations and one trip from Katrina and Chuck to bring me some things from home....I am once again blogging from a hospital room...(two doors down from my old room.) I am actually not blogging, for some reasong I can't get on to the blog and this is being posted by email, through Katrina. Mom will also be contributing to this email, to let you know the out-comes of the card contest.
So, that is really all I know until I talk to the Infectious Disease Specialist tomorrow.
For now...
this is one very pissed off and really cranky Elizabeth
Hope your day was better than mine

Public Service Announcement from Mom
(...and a thank you to Elizabeth for allowing me to use the blog)

On Saturday, April 7, Elizabeth, three of her sisters, 2 brothers-in-law, 4 first cousins and 1 second cousin (over the age of 18) sat at my dining room table and poured over 125 cards received by Elizabeth at the hospital. I'd like to thank everyone who mailed her a card and especially those of you who rose to the challenge of searching for the "funniest" card that you could find. The entries were hysterical and not only did Elizabeth and her family enjoy them, but so did the entire staff of the transplant unit at WMC. It also served to decorate the awful green walls of her room. So after a number of glasses of wine to put everyone into the right frame of mind (?), and much jocularity (a word I learned on MASH once used by Father Mulcahey), the judges selected the following cards as winners:
Werner & Martha Brandt - Card pictured patient laying in bed day after day (Remember?)
Joe & Marge Wrobel - Flasher with the baby carrotts and tomatoes (Ah, baby carrots)
Julie - Squirrel (Memories of Gettysburg college)
Jennifer Kiederer - Lady at the Salad Bar
Lisa Christensen - Girls on the Beach with Thongs (Oh, my)
So now you can all let your imaginations run wild and the five winners should await a small prize being sent in the mail. Again our thanks to you all.

2007-03-22T22:08:00.000-04:00

I'm out of here

All right folks. The fever is gone, I'm off the antibiotics, and my doctor says I can go home. I'm ditching this place in the morning. Or maybe the afternoon. Whenever the paper work is finished. I think it's the only time I liked the 8 Am doctor visit.
Of course now we need to pack up the hospital room. I've collected a lot of stuff over the last three and a half weeks. I already sent mom and dad home with some of the stuff. But there is still a ton here. I think I'm going to have to take a nap while they pack up the van tomorrow. Not that its unusually for me to nap during the day. And apparently, fresh air is going to tire me out in a big way.
In fact, Dr Ahmed has sort of restricted my activities fort he next week. I'm not to go anywhere cause he's is afraid I'm going to exhaust myself. I do however, get to see him on monday. Apparently he isn't afraid that I'm going to tire myself out at the doctor's office. Anyway, I'm heading to bed now. I'll let you all know when I'm home.
-Elizabeth

2007-03-20T20:42:00.001-04:00

An Update

(in the style of "Mom")

9:54 AM: curious why I hadn't heard from mom; it's been nearly five hours...called home to make sure she was still breathing; inform her about latest test results...which she already knew, as she had already called the nurse's station this morning... twice. Fine....then bring me food.

11:07 AM: Mom arrives with 1 portion farina, 1 tupperware chicken soup, both in a white Stop and Shop plastic bag. She seems in good spirits.

11:08 AM: Mom grabs Clorox wipes and begins to wipe down anything immobile. And Amy....was that Amy? was Amy even here? Barbara was here. But that wasn't until 12...I dunno...it all starts to look the same...

11:10 AM: Mom force feeds me farina. F.f.f.f.f.f...Better than frisbee pancakes....I don't even know what that means.

11:37 AM: Mom begins crossword puzzle....39 across...mythical creatures...four letters....begins with o, ends with s. ORCS (she's lucky to have me) Her blood pressure seems to rise and fall with each unanswered question.

12:00 NOON Mom growing anxious. Isn't anyone coming to help....help.

12:02 Cousin Barbara arrives. Mom departs for midday nurse-harassment. I hear weeping. Who's crying?

12:05 None of the nurses will look mom in the eye.

2:11 PM Dad arrives. Finds crossword puzzle gift from Barbara (who left...when the nurses stopped crying...); Dad works on crossword puzzle. Mom does too...but not on the same one.

2:12 PM For the 17th time, mom inquires about my thirst. Would I like some juice? She would gladly pour it for me, if I would drink it...(do you hear the inflection go up in my voice? No? Try again...)

2:34 PM The Fellow (Doctor-person) explains possible release scenarios. Mom begins to cringe and the sudden increase in blood pressure causes her to disregard all that the underling says.

2:35 PM Asks nurse to call for "real" doctor. Nurse looks scared and runs away.

2:42 PM Real doctor arrives. Gives mom sedative. Says he will come back when she promises to behave. (Just Kidding.) real doctor says the same thing that the Fellow said; but with authority. Mom decompresses.

Too tired to write more...but rest assured, you'll get a full report from mom regarding every minute and totally inconsequential detail in about (3....2.....1....)

2007-03-18T17:39:00.000-04:00

Mom Given The Chance To Use My Blog (Elizabeth edits)

So it was Elizabeth suggestion that I blog officially to let you all know that she is hanging in there. Of course she warned me that I should jot down notes before I blog as I have a tendancy to ramble....But since the name of this blog is RAMBLINGS, I'll take my chances and live dangerously.

It is early Sunday evening and although Elizabeth still has a low grade fever, she is so much better than she was last evening. Still unable to smell food (or even discuss it), she is thirsty and drinking juice and gingerale by the cup full. Unable to focus on real reading, she did enjoy todays Sunday funnies and of course the latest batch of cards. Her joint pain is being controlled by a variety of "funny drugs" but they don't seem to do much for her mood.....still grouchy (wonder if she'll edit that?)

Her nurse Annie just stuck her head in with TERRIFIC NEWS. She just got Elizabeth's blood test results from this afternoon and her white blood cells have jumped from .5 to 1.7 THAT IS AMAZING. Of course, I felt bad for the nurse who came in grinning from ear to ear to hear EJ respond with "then why do I still feel like crap?". The next thing she said was "then I can go home tomorrow!" Remember that the magic number is 2.0 for WBC....but also no Anti-biotics for an infections, able to eat solids,etc.....but maybe by the end of this week?????

Think possitively....Of course, leave it to Elizabeth to be discharged on Friday March 23rd and steal the thunder of Katrina's birthday.........OR, leave it to Katrina to have a birthday and steal the thunder of Elizabeth coming home. They always were competitive. Maybe Elizabeth will be discharged on Thursday and they're won't be a conflict :)

That's my update for now. Leave your comments.
-Mil

2007-03-13T23:50:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the short update.

But I have to get this in before midnight. The blog is one year old today. March 13. So this is a blog birthday.
As for me. I'm doing fine. I'll update some more later.
Elizabeth

2007-03-07T17:21:00.000-05:00

I have been invaded. They sit there with their creepy green masks. They talk, but it is hard to understand them. UH. and here come more. These are not of the strange "masked" variety. However, the one resembling my father comes in with a Carebear Birthday Balloon. I now have visions of some screaming child chasing him down the hall . "I want my balloon, back."
Who are these strangers? Where did they come from? How did they get past the guards?
....Oh, no. One is coming towards me. It speaks my name. It says...

Well. I can't quite remember. In the reverse of a normal nightmare, I actually was awake for the first part and fell asleep for the rest.
I am still here and I am still alive. Although not doing nearly as well as I was a few days ago. I got my last chemo on Sunday. My brother Paul flew in from Chicago and spent the next few days with me. It was really nice to have him here, but I felt a little badly. My body just wasn't able to tstay awake. I fell asleep a lot. I 'd wake up from a nap and paul would be sitting there reading a book. I'm just loads of fun right now.
On to the news. This is the end of day 1. Yesterday, day 0, I got my stemcells back. It unfortunatly coincides with the low period of my counts so I'm sicka nd achy and cranky and tired and ....(Don't smile. I'm not always like that)
No, for the most part I still think I'm doing OK. I have bad patches in the mornings. Yes, I have had to use the call button from the bathroom twice, cause I was so sick I couldn't move. But this is really all to be expected. Sucks...but expected.
Anyway, as I was saying, Paul has been here for the last few days. He and Carol both sat with me today, which was good for them because I slept until 2. They kept eachother company. Then Paul left for the airport and Katrina and Chuck showed up. Now because Kat, Chuck and Carol are all teachers and can not vouch for the germs they pick up from their students, they all decided to wear masks. Hence my opening sequence. I did get a happy birthday balloon from my father, but I'm pretty sure he bought it with his own money. And no, it is not my birthday, It just what they call getting your stemcells back. your new birth. DAy 1.
That's really all I have in me for tonight. Erica will be here tomorrow. Maybe Ill let her blog. She hasn't yet.
Night
Elizabeth

2007-02-28T22:40:00.000-05:00

Look who's finally back online.

All is well. I'm still here, and I'm still OK.
And, after a "little" delay, I'm able to blog. Thanks to the IT dept. There is quite a bit left to tell, but my procrastination so far has left me with too much to write, and to little energy to write it with. So, here are some teasers.
Chloraseptic/ Rubbing alchohol lozenges, inflatable beds, salt water gargle and look at all the drugs.
So, I'll let you know tomorrow about all of these things...and more.
Night night
-Elizabeth
PS: Besides....Katrina got you all over 20 comments...I owed you.

2007-02-23T16:10:00.000-05:00

Taking a vacation.

Well, not really. Less vacation and more incarceration. However, this is me and I try to make the most of everything. So, let's see. Positive things about being stuck in the hospital for three weeks. Ok. I can do this.
1. I don't have to listen to mom nag me to clean my room.
2. I get a call button that brings me servants. (OK so there actually nurses. It's still cool.)
3. A chance to work on my thesis that the color white on a wall, will eventually drive you nuts when stared at for too long.
4. Don't have to go out in the cold.
5. I could pretend to be a patient on Grey's Anatomy OR I could compare my doctor's to those on House. (Erica's suggestion. Just like being on my favorite TV shows)
6. I will be unable to commit felonies. (I'm not sure why this popped into Drew's head to suggest as a positive, but he has. Actually, he suggested that I can't commit a crime. Why did I type felonies and not misdemeanors then, ? Who knows, I might swipe something from the nurses station)
7. Chuck has suggested that I will be able to fulfill my exhibitionist side by walking around in the fun back bearing gowns. (I'm really not quite sure who these boys think they are talking about)
8. ooo! Sponge baths! (Another Chuck suggestion.)
9. Steve has suggested that the only way this experience could possibly be good is IF they have a wireless for a connection. (techno geek strikes again. However, I shouldn't make fun of him...he is lending me a laptop for a month since my laptop ate it self last summer, and my desktop might be a bit unwieldy.)

The suggestions I am getting are coming from my lovely siblings or psuedo sibs. I escaped mahopac from wed - sat. I went to vermont. I only skiied for a little bit, but it was still very fun.
Now I'm packing, and getting ready to go into the hospital. Tomorrow. At 9 AM.
I will have more than three days of chemo. I will start tomorrow and go until next monday. I asked if I get sat. and sun. off, but no dice. On tuesday, march 6, i will get my stem cells back and they I will be recovering. I will attempt to update or update by proxy as much as possible.
Hmmmm. Final things. I can get gifts. Yes to most things. Just no plants or fruits. And I would love cards. but only if they are humorous. In fact, mom is running a funny card contest. I don't know how she intends to pick the winner or what the prize will be, but all are welcome to enter.
If you would like to write to me, the address is
Westchester Medical Center
Main Tower
95 Grasslands Rd.
Valhalla, NY 10595
Attn: Elizabeth Bauerlein

I will let you know how tomorrow goes.
Wish me luck!
-Elizabeth

2007-02-08T19:19:00.000-05:00

I kick ass!

They wanted 2 million stem cells and I gave them 7. …in one sitting. (I really didn’t intended to sit in that chair any longer than necessary.)
So here is how it went. I went in Tuesday morning and had another catheter put in. This time in my neck. That is a picture of what it looked like. Not mine, because I was to lazy to take a picture. But it is the same thing I had. Creepy little alien-like tentacles coming from my neck. I had planned this whole graphics thing about the doctors stabbing me in the neck and the pain. And I decided against it cause it really doesn’t demonstrate the creepiness as much as this picture.
Anyway, after the doctor stabbed me in the neck with the catheters, I went back over the oncologist office for the first, of what I thought was going to be three or four days hooked up to a machine to suck out my platelets. It was boring and I slept for about an hour. Then played with my nintendogs for about an hour, than spent the last two hours wishing it was over because I needed to go to the bathroom and the machine was too large to drag with me.
It wasn’t until later on that evening that I realized exactly how much pain I was in. (Jules- It was kind of like the whole getting my ear pierced thing in college.) I was so doped on the medication the doctors had given me, it was sort of like “oww. What happened?” Then I would remember that they stabbed me in the neck.
Mom and I waited up pretty late hoping to get a call that said they received enough stem cells and that I wouldn’t have to inject my self again, but no call came. I injected myself and went to bed. Or tried to go to bed. It was probably the most painful night I’ve had yet…including the port. Want to know why? They stabbed me in the neck!
The next day we got the call saying they had enough but that we should come in so that they could remove the catheters. I was all for that. That was until I relized that they just yank that damn thing out. That’s right. Snip the sutures, put a cotton ball on top …. "OK now. Take a deep breath.” …than yank. Right out. (shudders) Don’t get me wrong... Thrilled to have it out…but still.
So "yeah me", for the many stem cells. (Mom wants to check if there is some sort of record that I broke) The next stage is the hospital. I’ll be going in on the 26th.
I think that is all to report. I’m sure if I forgot something someone will remind me.
-Elizabeth

2007-02-03T17:05:00.000-05:00

Katrina at the wheel...

As a child sneaking an early peak at Christmas presents, I am feeling simultaneous guilt and exhileration at posting on Elizabeth's blog. It is I, Katrina. (You can tell Elizabeth is feeling lackluster, when it becomes "all about me" through someone else's eyes...)

Do not fret, Elizabeth is fine. In fact, shouts of "King! King! Good! King! Lie down! No, not walk away! I'm very specific! Roll over! No.... you're walking away...alright one more time, JUMP!" emanate from the room next to me, where Elizabeth is trying to tame her new pets on Nintendogs, a portable computer game for Nintendo DS gifted to her by Kathy and Paul Stefunek. [Since the thank you card will be long in coming (this is after all Elizabeth), please know she is exceedingly grateful, as is my mother who is happy not to have a real dog in the basement. ]

Having been given the task of updating the reading community on the foibles of Elizabeth's life, I ponder my first draft:
Elizabeth's blood counts were low on Friday.
So she had to have transfusions.
Which sucked.
So she was angry and sad.
And now she can't go to church or out in public.
Because you all have nasty germs.
So please leave her a message to cheer her up.
(And take a shower.)
Although I was told I had to write more, feel free to read the above and skip to the commenting.
I would.

So here is the humor-filled story I was instructed to relay: Since the mobilization chemo (Does anyone wonder why it is called that? Doesn't it actually immobilize various functions of the body? Like, um, bone marrow activity? Perhaps it should be called IMmobilization chemo....?) Regardless, since the mobilization chemo last week, Elizabeth has had to inject herself twice a day with neupogen, a drug that jacks up her production of stem cells; simultaneously her platelets, red & white blood cells are not as plentiful...hence the necessity of the aforementioned blood transfusions of Friday.

But I digress, yet again.
(This is so the last time she will ask me to do this.)

Insisting that she administer her shots to herself, Elizabeth, aimed and fired the first dose with success. However, at shot number two, she encountered a dilemma: 1 lonely Sponge Bob Band-Aid. What to do, what to do? Ah ha! Our clever heroine decides to inject her second shot directly next to the first thereby maximizing the coverage from the sole survivor of the once powerful Sponge Bob force. As she gently squeezed the second syringe, the liquid flow seamlessly into her thigh; the suddenly, it spewed forth like a geyser from the crater left by the first injection. (I tried to convince Elizabeth that this demanded a graphic, but to no avail.)

Thank God for mothers, especially those who realize the emotional value of a good adhesive bandage. Mom rushed to K-Mart to purchase Care Bear Band-Aids, saving the day (and thereby becoming the second person to purchase Elizabeth themed bandages....I am still on the look-out for Wonder Woman Band-Aids).

My final remark is a plea for comments. Elizabeth also loves cards, cookies, pina colados and getting caught in the rain (but not right now). I need to go now--Elizabeth is finished painting and needs attention (yes, she switched from training dogs to painting because hyper-ADD is also a side effect of chemo). Besides, she is whining. Please stop the whining.
Post a comment.

2007-01-23T07:36:00.000-05:00

Fred II: The Revenge of Zombie Fred - Act II: Scene 1:

Day 1 of Mobilization Chemo. Outside an office building

Our heroine walks bravely towards the door. (Wearing her pajamas because it freaking early in the morning and if they are going to shove needles into her she is going to damn well be comfortable)

She makes her way into the doctors office and fills out the required paper work before being whisked through the morning routine and into the chemo room ahead of everyone else, as if she is some sort of VIP. (Or as if she had eight straight hours of chemo to go through today and the nurses wanted to get started so that they didn't have to stay late to make sure that she got it all.)

She stoically allows them to access her port and draw the required amount of blood for pre-chemo testing. ("stoically" means complaining loudly about pain, right?)

She is, after all, eagerly anticipating the start of this chemo, knowing that the stem cells collected will not only be helpful later, but that this will move her one step closer to being cancer free. (eagerly anticipating, or resignedly waiting or even scared s%*&less, any of those will work)

So, I'm off to chemo. I'll let you know how it goes. And first comments go to those who commented last night. Including both my newphew Matt- who got his first "first comment" with this and Katrina - who messed up another joke.

___________________________________________________
Aunt Liz,I hope tomorrow doesn't hurt. I love you and I hope it goes well. I hope this time Fred dies and does not survive!Love,Matt Paul
8:03 PM
Marta said...
Liz,Had a very nice time yesterday evening....how is Bee doing by the way?Lots of luck tomorrow!!! You are in my prayers. Love ya!
8:50 PM
katrina said...
Tuesday, January 23Good luck today Elizabeth. Keep your spirits up and know that we are all with you during your mobilization...is that similar to an escalation...or an enhancement?! Go fightin' stem cells!PS Mom and Elizabeth: Be good to each other. You are each other's closest supports.
6:18 AM
katrina said...
I did it again: "...or an augmentation?"
6:19 AM
______________________________________________

Later - Elizabeth

2007-01-16T21:04:00.000-05:00

Go Fightin' Stem Cells!

Well, time for another update. It has been about four weeks since my last chemo and I feel pretty good. And I have been making good use of this bonus time. On Friday night, Amy and I had a meeting down at her house for Women's Group. I played bartender. (I may not be able to drink, doesn't mean I cant mix) Then we watched the Devil wears Prada. Very funny movie.
On Saturday, I went to a friends birthday party in the city. Actually it was on a boat around the city. I wasn't quite sure how my stomache was going to like that, but a compazine helped it.
On Sunday, I did the usual. Taught Sunday School, sang in choir, and then mom had lunch back at the house for Kat, Chuck, Erica and Drew. (Did I forget to mention that Erica and Drew were in for the party?)
However, the best time was yesterday. Monday.
I went to go see the Daily Show. I'm still grinning.
I love the Daily Show. And I now have my parents hooked on it as well. Several months ago, my mom sent away for tickets. Then I relapsed and we were afraid I wouldn't be able to go. However, Dr. Ahmed is a fan and Denise was warned a month ago that I had to be well enough to go.
We got into the city at around three, and mom brought a folding chair along so that I could sit while we waited in line. At some point mom cornered a security guard and asked him about possibly getting me and maybe chuck, seats up front. I would have killed her for asking, but in the end it turned out great. So I guess I owe her a thank you.
A little while later, we met Teri Abrams, the audience manager, who pulled us off the line. Since I still had no idea what mom had said to the security guard, I thought that we might be getting kicked out. (hey - with mom you never know. she is just as likely to piss someone off.) To our surprise Teri took us inside and into the staff lounge. All five of us were told to make ourselves at home. We sat on the couch and mom helped her self to some fruit salad. I snapped a picture of her eating the fruit salad to send to erica with the caption "mom eating jon stewarts fruit salad." I'm not sure erica ever got the picture, because I was trying to figure out how to work my new camera phone, Jon Stewart walked through the room and into the studio. I nearly choked on the chocolate/cheesecake thing that I was eating. Exciting stuff right? But wait. it gets better.
We watched the rehersal run through on the tv in the lounge, which was just as cool as watching the show itself. Then Teri came back in and after a few minutes of chatting and getting some of my information, walked us into the studio. Not through a normal audience door. No. Through the set. Once again.So very, very cool.
She got us set in our seats and told us that there may be a chance that Jon Stewart would come over and say hi. That is about when the perma grin started. In all honesty, I was thrilled just to have seen him walk by. The show was great and funny as hell. (You could watch the videos at Comedy Central if you want. ) After the show, when the audience started to file out, Teri motioned for us to stay seated. She talked with us for a few minutes, and gave me the blue papers that Jon doodles on during the show. I was trying to stay calm, I really was. ...and then Jon Stewart came out.
There are no words. All I kept thinking was, don't say something stupid and make a fool of yourself. I don't think I did. Maybe a little but what do you expect. I was a little star struck.
He spent a good ten minutes talking with us. And even autographed the sheet for me. ( "Go Fightin' Stem Cells!" is his phrase the autograph) We then took pictures with me in the chair. That's what's posted. I ...I am so very very happy. over 24 hours later and I still have perma grin. It was a great day and everyone was so down to earth and nice. It was just a perfect day. I'm sure there is more that I am forgetting but I am a little tired. So, I'm going to bed now.
I'll update again later in the week.
-Elizabeth

2007-01-06T21:23:00.000-05:00

Good news and juicy marrow.

OK. Phase 1 is complete. My PET scan shows that the cancer has shrunk to the point where it is almost invisible. So, we are on to phase 2, which is really just preparation for phase 3.

Phase 2: Mobilization Chemo
Dr. Ahmed is giving me a nice long break from chemo. My last was on Dec 13,14, and 15. The mobilization chemo will not be until Jan 23,24,25. Why such a long wait? Because he wants my system to completely recover so that my marrow is "nice and juicy". I swear I'm not making that up. His words exactly.
The mobilization chemo is actually a combo of two chemos I had before. Cytoxan (which was the C in CHOP.) and VP-16 (which was the E in ICE. I know...not an E. Chemo is wacky that way.) After hearing that it was only two drugs and that I had had them both before I thought this wouldnt be so bad. I really need to stop jumping to conclusions. He told me I would have to take Mesnex again. (For those of you who don't recall I had to take this so that the I of ICE didn't eat through soft tissue. It is apparently very fond of the bladder.) But knowing that I wasn't getting the chemo that required me to use the mesnex last time I was a little confused. Turns out the mobilization chemo is going to give me the cytoxan and VP-16 in much higher doses than last time. It dawned on me at that moment that this is going to suck. Yup. This is going to absoulutly suck.
Anyway, the point of this chemo is to supress bone marrow, so that when I start to give myself the nupragin injections, it will spit out stem cells instead of red cells, white cells or platlets. Kind of like setting it back to default settings. So, I will give my self nupragin shots for 2 weeks or so, and having my blood tested every few days to see what my counts are like. The rest of the dates I give are best guess. It all depends on how I respond.
We figure that I will have a stem cell collection on Feb 6. Right before this I will have another catheter put in my neck. This time with an in and out line. It could take one to three days to harvest the number of stem cells that I will need later on. But once they are all collected, phase 2 will be complete.
Phase 3: which is the hospitalization and BEAM chemo will most likely happen on Feb 20th. They want to give me another break to make sure my body has recovered sufficently from the Mobilization Chemo. Then I will have 4 day of the BEAM which is (according to Dr. Ahmed) equivalent to 4 months of chemo. THis will destroy my immune system as well as some red blood cells and all the platlets. They will then give me back my stem cells and they will get to work on repairing the damage from the BEAM. And hopefully three weeks later, March 13, I will be out and working on phase 4: radiation.

So, that's pretty much that schedule. Katrina has reminded me to tell you all that even though this sounds horrible, this is good news. I am responding well to the chemo and can now move on the next step of Fred's destruction. Not to mention I get all these lovely breaks in between. So, start thinking of something I can do while on the break before I go into the hospital. (Jules- Brendan has a good idea. Vegas!) That's it for now.
-Elizabeth

2007-01-05T01:10:00.000-05:00

Yeah, ok. I'm back.

I had a great holiday and decided to take a break from my blogging. I know. Quit rolling you eyes. I'm always taking breaks from my blogging. But, ...once again I am forced to remind myself that this is my blog. It's for my feelings. So,
Christmas was wonderful and hectic and fantastic and filled with so much family I've lost count. However, there were some distincitve points that had me thinking.
All sorts of horrible bad thoughts. Things that in all honesty I didn’t particularly feel like sharing. At least not until I had sorted them out a bit more in my mind. I’m still not sure if I ‘m ready to post most of them. But lets just go with, I never thought at 28 I would have to think about the possibility of my own death.
Don’t give me that look. I’m not over reacting. I just think the last time I went through the chemo I was under reacting.

When we first knew it was cancer I was numb. There was terror and numbness. Then I did research and discovered that my cancer, in the grand scheme of cancers, wasn’t so much a bad one. It was easily treatable with a very good success/cure rate. Then suddenly it’s back. And now all of the rates have changed. How do I even begin to contemplate what happens if this doesn’t work, when I’m still trying to get past the fact that the treatment can kill me.

Why you ask am I feeling so very insecure, when I’m usually up beat, ..well. that one took me awhile to. At first I just thought it was just a normal reaction to finding out your cancer is back. However, an interesting thing happened as soon as new years was over. I started to feel better. Christmas was fine and all the celebrating was wonderful. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking, what would it be like if I wasn’t here? I know. Morbid. But you people ask to hear this stuff. Don’t believe me, check the comments to the last post.

I think that there is something about the holidays that just makes people extra emotional. So, since I wasn’t feeling particularly upbeat my emotions intisfied in the opposite direction. Luckily my family has so many things planned over the holidays, that there is very little time for thinking much less true self reflection.

There are some other things I’m still wrapping my head around. I’ll post those when I’m ready. But, for now, on to the fun stuff. A little birdie told me that the my blogs were not nearly as fun as they used to be. So, here is the challenge question that was promised. I want to take a small vacation. 3 or 4 days tops, before I go into the hospital, which will probably be some time in February. Now, I have no money, and I don't know what the dates will be yet. But I would appreciate suggestions. Where should I go, and what should I do? I think there should be real suggestions in there, but fun (if-elizabeth-had-all-the-money-in-the-world-and-a-very-fast-plane) suggestions are welcome.

Finally, I have one last fun image to share with you. I have received many gifts over the past few months. Most of them of the religiouis kind. I have angels and saints and even a set of rosary beads (blessed by the new pope no less.) I have everything set up, shrine like, on the only large flat surface in my room. The bar. If that doesn’t wrap me up in a nut shell.

Anyway, I’m off for a PET scan today. And then a consult with Dr.Ahmed to discuss the next steps. Keep me in your thoughts and I’ll let you know how it goes. Oh, and Carol? You know I was just waiting for you. (tee hee)
-Elizabeth

2006-12-21T23:03:00.000-05:00

Here comes santa claus, here comes santa claus, right down santa claus lane.....I am so very ready for Christmas!

So, to all of you worriers, I'm fine. I had a rough weekend, but it passed mostly by monday. I then spent Monday and Tuesday finalizing my papers for classes. I'm done with the semseter though, so yay me.
Let me fill you in on the schedule as we know so far. My doctor is on vacation for a few weeks so I have no chemo until after Jan. 5 at least. (And there was much rejoicing) I had some tests and scans today but they were mostly in prep for the stem cell thing. I went in for my counts, they all look good, a little low, and my platlets still a little lower than that, but nothing to be worried about.
I then went to the hospital for a MUGA scan (heart) and PFT (lungs). The muga was ok. I took a nap. The PFT was actually kind of funny. I had to blow into this tube attached to sensors and piping and it was able to tell how large my lungs were, how they were functioning and how well they were filtering out gasses and such. I did above average for everything except the filtering gasses thing. But the Dr. said that was normal for someone who has been through this much chemo.
On Jan 5th I go back for a PET scan. This is the one that will decide if they need to give me more of the RICE before I go into the hospital. So, I'm off till then.
In the meantime we are getting ready for Christmas. Paul and Gerri will be coming in. (And there was even more rejoicing.) I was kinda hoping for snow, but that doesn't seem to be happening.
I'm kind of tired so I'm going to head to bed, but you should all check out the blog again soon as I am planning on posting a challenge question.
If you don't check back before Christmas, have a happy and healthy.
-Elizabeth

2006-12-14T07:46:00.000-05:00

Alright. On to second day of chemo.

Let's just pretend I was good and updated last night. When instead all I did was come home from chemo and slept for 12 hours. It was a long freaking day and I'm glad its over. On to day 2. I should write more but we're running late. So, indeference to those who commented yesterday on a week old post about yesterdays chemo...I'll grant you first post status this time.

Mil said...
This comment is more to give all of you "blog followers" news about today, as I know that Elizabeth is wiped. She did really well today, but this chemo is brutal. They inserted the "plug" into her port at 8:30 this morning and unplugged it at 5:30 this afternoon. It just zapps all of my energy, so you can imagine what it does to hers. But she is doing well and tomorrow morning we're back at WMC for the next round which should be about 3 hours shorter than today. And then one more on Friday which is a piece of cake as it will only last about 5 hours. Keep us in your thoughts and watch for Elizabeth's update as soon as she can.
11:37 PM
katrina said...
Keep up your spirits, keep up your strength! Only 10 more shopping days til Christmas! (Don't worry, Elizabeth; you never start before 12/22 anyway...You've got plenty of time!)You can do it, Elizabeth!
6:50 AM
Carol said...
Lizzy....You did it! Two more for this week and then you hopefully get to rest a little! Think happy thoughts!
7:36 AM

So, everyone else count as follow up comments. I'll hopefully have the energy to write more later. -Elizabeth

2006-12-04T01:26:00.000-05:00

For those who demanded a graphic

So, a quick run down of my weekend. I woke up Saturday morning and realized that the quarentine that my father was under hadn't worked. What quarentine you ask. The one that would prevent me from getting his head cold.
So with the exception of church I spent my weekend camped on the couch with a box of tissues, clutching my dayquil. Hope your weekend was better then mine. -Elizabeth

2006-11-29T22:27:00.000-05:00

Hey. Hey! Someone take those sleeping pills away from her!

So...
[akward pause]
How have you been?
[more akward pause and some shuffling of feet]
You know it's been a little while since we've talked.
[silence and sideways eyeglances]
OK. Fine. Lets talk about the last post. NO I wasn't drunk. I can't drink right now. And I wasn't high. The only drugs I can score are from my doctor. I was just really tired and it was really, really late and I took a sleeping pill that made me really, really ...really loopy. And now we know...sleeping pills and blogging Do Not Mix. Happy? Have we finished discussing the elephant on the blog? Can we get back to normal chit chat now? Fine

So. I'm fine. Let's see. Where were we? Before the sleeping-pill-induced ramble, I left you all with "Happy Thanksgiving thoughts". Well, I hope you all survived the aftermath of Turkey Day better than I.
Chemo side effects decided to rear their ugly head at about 3:30 AM Friday. And of course, the rest of the family was upstairs in a happy, turkey induced sleep.
After the first bought of nausea, it took three failed attempts to stand up to go upstairs (to get help) , several more revists of thanksgiving dinner and about 45 minutes lying on the bathroom floor, to come to the realization that my best bet was noise. So, I proceeded to slam the door of my mothers new bathroom cabinet until someone came to see about the racket. Thank God Dad is a light sleeper. Mom and Erica slept right through it. Dad got Mom and Mom got my compazine. Then all was right with the world.
I spent all of Friday recovering and vegging, and saving up my energy for Saturday
Saturday, Marta, Erica, my cousin Lucy and myself went into the city. We first went to South Street Seaport to see the Bodies Exhibit. Very cool. Then we walked fifth ave and saw the windows at Saks. Then we strolled through Rockefeller Center and around to see Marta office in the city before we headed home. It was a very nice day and I dropped like a rock when I got home.
After church on Sunday mom and erica went to pick Katrina and Chuck up at the airport. They had dinner with us. It was nice to have them home although they said they had a great time in Florida.
Well, you saw how monday went. I slept till noon. Did some work went to class. Went home for a quick nap. and then back out for concert rehearsal. Tuesday wasn't nearly as hectic. I got some work done and then went to class. Today I ran to Westchester for some blood work. Everything is fine and my counts look good.
Then mom and I went to visit Aunt Ann and Carl in the hospital. I'm sure most of you know by now. They were hit by a car crossing the street in White Plains. It was in the paper and everything. (Of course in the paper they are refered to as "an elderly couple". Oh. Aunt Ann is upset about that) Anyway, they seem to be in good spirits though Aunt Ann was a little loopy still from some of the drugs. They might be in there for awhile so please send out some happy thoughts and prayers for them.
It was later then expected when we left the hospital so I came home and crashed on the couch till choir time. After choir it was time for my nightly dose of drugs (anti-viral, anti-fungal, antibiotic(2)) and give my self a nuprigin injection. Oh that's right I forgot to tell you about the injections. For the last seven nights I've taken a handful of drugs, and then shot my self in the leg with a syringe. .... .... I hate needles. And that really is all that needs to be said on the subject.
That's pretty much it.. You're all caught up. So. I'll talk to you later. -Elizabeth

2006-11-27T05:56:00.000-05:00

So...If nothinig else this will be a really intersting update.
Its very late, i'm exhausteed but unable to sleep. this wouldn't realy be a problem as i just took a sleeping pill a little while ago and teh longer that is in my system the sleepier i will get.. however, i have forgotten thet my touchtyping skills ohjly work well wehn either A. My eyes are opened or b. im not about to fall asleep from the sleeping pill. Dont panick yet. I have everyintention of making it inot my bed before i become compoletly unconcious. I was just hoping that one of my sisters. which everyone chekcse first might be so kind as to call mom and ask her to not wake me up untill 1030 or soo. That wyould be swell. Thanks - Elizabeth

2006-11-23T13:47:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Chemo went well and now we're on to Turkey Day! Yah! Food is staying down!
Actually I haven't yet tested that on anything besides cashews and chips, but so far so good.
I have no intention of posting anything lengthy today. There are turkeys to eat and yams to marshmellow, but I wanted to send a Thanksgiving Shout out to my sister Katrina in Florida. (Told you I'd update) I hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving, along with all of the Florida Fitz's you're with.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone
Elizabeth

2006-11-22T07:25:00.000-05:00

And in today's production....

In today's production of Elizabeth's Chemo the part of "chaperone/driver" will be played by the up and coming sister, Erica. The part of "witty comic relief" will be reprised by cousin Lucy. The role of "cleaning the house and preparing for the Thanksgiving invasion but arriving at chemo in time to drop off lunch and learn how to jab me in the leg with a needle" will be played by the ever versatile mom.
Other supporting actors in today's production are Dad acting as second driver taking Katrina and Chuck to the airport for their Thanksgiving in sunny Florida. (I think it's 70+ degrees there. Pack a bathing suit)
This is the final scene of Act 1: RICE
No flash photography during the treatment and don't forget to tip your chemo nurse.
Enjoy the Show!

2006-11-20T17:05:00.000-05:00

So...a few hours ago I was sitting in class.

No, don't go back and read it again...you read it right. I was sitting in class. Now I know what you're thinking. "Didn't she say she had a chemo today." Yes...yes I did. We got to othe office at 8 and finished up at around 4, which was just enough time to get to a 4:45 class. I didn't really want to go, But the power of the maternal guilt trip combined with my own stubborness in wanting to finish out the semester was more than I could overcome. In hindsight...not the best of moves. I got sick and had to have a friend drive me home.
We had a debate or at least were preparing to have a debate about handwriting versus keyboarding based on an article I haven't read. Mostly because I put off my reading cause of the chemo brain, but honestly, after thursday, school sort of fell to the wayside.
The debate was just starting to shape up when I made my escape. I feel a little bad for not hanging around to participate, but in all honest I was working on default. Basic functions only. (Breath in...breath out. Breath in...Breath out. ...No, no, no! Not throw up...Breath. )
Not only does the chemo (or at least the I of ICE) make me feel like crap, but apparently it can cause hallucinations as well. Betsy warned us last friday that they would need to take me to the hospital if I should start acting weird. Mom asked her to define weird. Anyway, so far I haven't seen any pink elephants. However, in class the projector started to flicker and I had to check with Vicki (my ever so helpful friend and emergency driver) to make sure it wasn't in my head. She reassured me that it wasn't. (Phew)
When we got home I was starting to have some serious trouble with the holding down of ...well anything. Even air. Got a bad case of the hicups. Anyway, I took a compozine so that I might settle my stomach enough to take a kytril. (Yes, Iknow I took an anti-neasea pill in order to take another anti-neasea pill. However I have a ton of compozine and only a few kytril. ) I also resorted to the ginger candy or should I say the candied ginger. Just as disgusting as I recall but by the fourth one I was ready for soup. (Thanks Amy. And Carol I had yours for lunch yesterday ...good stuff.)
So to sum up quickly both chemo's were long and tiring and boring. Although today less so because my cousin Lucy from slovakia joined us. I taught her poker and we chatted. She acted as a buffer between mom and I. (Don't judge her by her size...she may be small, but she's wiry)
I'm sure there is more I should tell but I'm exhausted so...goodnight.
-Elizabeth

2006-11-16T21:00:00.000-05:00

So, for those of you who are still checking this thing....I had my CT scan today.

All is not well. As I was waiting for Dr. Ahmed, a fellow was taking notes on my last six weeks. We had never met before so I showed her where Fred used to be. As I'm pushing down on the spot...lo and behold I feel Fred. That's right. His corpse has been reanimated and is back to cause more problems.

Fred II: Revenge of Zombie Fred.

Anyway there is a lot of stuff to get through so I'll move quickly. Pay attention and keep your hands and arms inside the blogs.

1. Fred and Bob (the chest hot spot) have both grown significantly in the past six weeks, to such an extent that there was no need for a biopsy. Dr. Ahmed saw the scans and declared Fred resurected.

2. I start Chemo tomorrow. Not CHOP. If one chemo regiment fails to do the job, protocol requires a switch. I will be starting ICE. Combine that with the retuxin and you get RICE. ( I know, funny, yet that is what they call it.)

3. I will go through 4 phases of treatment. Are they actually four different phases...I don't know. It's just how I've broken it down in my head

Phase 1: Chemo : RICE - this is done over three days.

Friday - The R,I, &E from RICE along with several other drugs to counteract sideeffects so that the chemo doesn't kill me.

Monday - The I and E from RICE along with several other drugs......

Wednesday - The C and E from RICE along with several other drugss...... You get the idea.

After the chemo I have seven days of injecting myself with a drug to regrow bone marrow.Then I wait three weeks and repeat the first part of phase 1 over again. In other words, 2 cycles of RICE.
I then wait two weeks and get a PET scan.

IF the RICE has done it's job, we move onto phase 2. (If it hasn't we move onto a contingoncy plan that has not yet been devised. )

Phase 2: If the PET scan shows what we hope then I will recieve a bombardment chemo.
That isn't its real name. It is just what I am calling it in my head. They will give me a chemo designed to shut down my bone morrow...sounds bad right...wait for it...wait...only to start it back up again with days upon days of the self done shot that regrows bone marrow. This apperently will dump a whole lot of stem cells into my bloodstream.

In about two weeks time these little stem cells will be ripe for harvest. At which point I go back to the hospital, have another catheter inserted into my neck and then I am off to what I am fondly calling the vampire room where they will suck out my blood, whirl it around, take out the stem cells and shoot the rest back into me. We will do this until they get 2 million stem cells. It might take one day...it might take four. But they want 2 million.

Now I asked why they couldn't just use my port...apparently the injector that puts my blood back is high pressured and has been known to blow plastic ports to pieces. So, I get the catheters, and when the're done drinking my blood I get them removed.

Phase 3: Once again, provided that the previous phase went off with out a hitch, I will be thrown back into the hospital. Once there I will recieve intensive chemo. (Yes...another one for these keeping count this will be three for this course of treatment,...four overall.) I don't remember the name of this one, but I have it written down and I'll let you know. Dr. Ahmed described it as taking four months worth of chemo, and doing it in four days. (That just doesn't sound like fun)
When done, they will give me back the stem cells they stole and keep me for two and half weeks. For around a total of 3 weeks in the hospital all in all.
They want to keep me in a sterile environment, make sure my body starts working on its own again, and make sure that my bone morrow starts producing its own cells. Needless to say, for most of phase 2 and all of phase 3 I will have a non-existant immune system.

Phase 4: Ahh, the easy one. Radiation.

So there you have it, the four phases of my new treatment. This should put me done somewhere in february or march. And the entire thing will be riddled with tests and scans. Ok, I'm wiped so I'm going to bed. long day tomorrow and all. Later. - Elizabeth

2006-10-11T18:00:00.000-04:00

Don't hate me...but I'm not sorry.

So...I lied. All is not as well as I led you to believe. I'm a horrible selfish person. I was going away for the weekend and I wanted to feel ...healthy. Even if it is an illusion.
So, the real story. I have what my doctor is calling "glow worms". Two of them. They are hot spots that showed up on my PET scan. Once again...this doesn't necesarily mean it's cancer. However, one of them is glowing more than it did at my last PET. That is the problem "glow worm"... ... I have named him Bob. Bob could be other things, it could be the fungus. Which isn't as prevelent as I made it sound, but Bob could be one. Or something else entirely. We don't know. And we wont know with out a biopsy. So, in 6 weeks...more like 5 weeks now.... I will be going back for another CT scan. If the lymph node grows then they will send me for a chest biopsy. We'll wait and see till then.
The results are still inconclusive, we've just stepped up the worry level a little. I would have posted this originally, but I wanted this last weekend before I started my 6 weeks of panic. Letting it out would have made me think about it. My sisters didn't even know. I told them before we got home. I'm not sure they are talking to me. I can't say that I'm sorry...cause I'm not. I didn't do this to make sure they had a pleasant, unruined weekend...I did it for me. I'm selfish that way.
And I really did have a great weekend. Shopping, dinner out, games, tennis, massage, and rock wall climbing. I can't give you anymore details than that. It was a girls weekend out and what happened in Cape Cod stays in Cape Cod. Ok. Back to class.
I'm sorry for the confusion even if I'm not sorry for the lie.
-Elizabeth

2006-10-05T22:09:00.000-04:00

Maybe all is well...

Wow. That didn't sound confident. So, I went back for my PET scan today, and then met with my doctor. Yes, there was some elevated activity in a lymph node. But that doesn't neccesarily mean that it's cancer. It could be the left over tissue disipating or it could be a fungal infection. Apparently that happens a lot. Anyway though, it's not a pressing matter and we have adopted the wait and see approach. I will continue to go for my scans and if there are changes in the size towards the smaller we won't worry, if it is towards the larger...then we will reassess. But in the mean time my doctor is confident that it is nothing to be concerned about. So, thanks for the pleasant thoughts. They worked much better this time. Now, I have to pack as I am dissapearing for the weekend. We are kidnapping Carol for her birthday. I'd tell you where we are going, but it's a surprise and carol checks the blog.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. - Elizabeth

2006-10-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

Once more...with feeling.

So. Your good thoughts were obviously not enough. I went through the lovely hassle of the CT scan and I still have to go back for a PET. And the morning started off so well...
Mom and I stopped by a deli on the way and picked up a sandwich so I could eat something after the scan. (Remember this is one of those where they starve you for a few hours.) Anyway, I arrived on time and was immediatly order to drink the 2 large containers of Redi-cat. Last time I had it it was lemon flavored. This time it was "mixed berry." There was no difference. I swear mixed berry tastes the same as lemon. Anyway, after chugging that over a 15 minute period and trying not to hurl on the nurse who kept telling me to "hurry and finish", I had mom fill out the paper work. This was the first time I had a CT scan at the facility. My last one was at Putnam. So, I go in. I change into the gown. I finish chugging the sludge. And then I spend 20 minutes trying to control my need to vomit while I wait for the nurse to come and get me. Once they get me into the room with the CT scan low and behold,...there is another glass of the sludge waiting for me. They said that I just needed to have a couple swallows to make sure that I'm all "coated". I swear, no one needs these images in their mind. They ran a couple of scans with out the contrast and then they ran a few more with the contrast coming in through an IV. Which believe it or not was the more pleasant part of the experience. For the first few scans I was freezing, then they dump the contrast into your blood stream and you start to feel all warm and fuzzy.
After the scans were done, I went upstairs for my appointment with Dr. Ahmed. While we were waiting I got my port flushed. For the first time in months, it didn't give the nurses trouble. Both sites went in clean and gave blood. The heparin went in and I was out in less than 5 minutes. I should have known things were going too well.
Dr. Ahmed wasn't going to be in until the afternoon so we had quite the wait ahead of us, but Denise the nurse practitioner took us early. She ran down to look at the scans and we waited in the office. When she walks in the first thing she says is " I don't want you to be concerned but"...
TO LATE.!!. I'm sorry but that is really not the way to open a conversation.
As it turns out, there are some large nodes that have them concerned. They can't quite tell if they are left over from the cancer and just haven't disipated yet, or if they are active sites. So....I head back in tomorrow afternoon for a PET scan to see if they are hot spots or risidual scar tissue.
...
but I'm not panicked.
...
So anyway. Lets try this again shall we. Positive thougths people. Once more...with feeling.
-Elizabeth

2006-10-02T18:29:00.000-04:00

I'm a bad bad person.

I know. It's been a while...Ok it's been nearly a month. And now, as if it's not bad enough that I waited forever to update, I'm going to be whining about the future instead of updating you on the past three weeks.
On Wednesday I'm going to go in for a CT scan. Now I know that I had the PET/CT a month after I finished chemo. But half a me feels like that was a given. I mean. After a month we hope nothing has happen. But now, it's been three months since that scan and four months since my last chemo. Something could have shown up by now. Don't give me those looks...I'm NOT being pessimistic. I'm being realistic. There IS a chance. I don't think it has happened, but that doesn't stop the fear now does it?
I really don't want to think about. I'm wicked nervous and would prefer to just get it overwith, but talking/writing about it doesn't seem to be helping. Anyway, I'm just asking for some support is all. And to keep the masses happy, I'll let you know about the past couple of weeks.

Classes have been going well, nothing much to report there. They are interesting and I definately think that they will be helpful, but I am finding that I am having some trouble handling the chemo brain. (It's OK. Laugh. I have trouble saying it without snickering) It isn't as if the classes are difficult, it's the whole short term memory loss thing. Trying reading an article or a chapter in a text and then trying to have a discussion about it later but you can't remember any of it. That's an exageration, but it makes it difficult to contribute.

As far as my weekends, on the 16th and 17th I went with the church Youth Group on a camping trip in Fahnestock. It was actually pretty fun. I got to meet a lot of the kids I would be working with this coming year and I led one of the hikes around Pelton Pond. The kids were also great. The younger kids got their first taste of youth group discussions and were able to look to the older kids as role models. I think that this is going to be a good bunch of kids.
The next weekend (23 and 24) was mom's B'day weekend. On Saturday, which was mom's b'day I had everyone over to the house for a birthday breakfast...yes me. I got up early (stop laughing) and made homemade waffles (knock that off). Drew and Erica were in for the morning and I put them to work on setting the table and cooking bacon. Carol made a great egg dish and Kat brought over a ton of fresh fruit. (Don't roll your eyes. I may not have cooked it all but I organized. Which means it was all about me. ...And mom) On that Sunday we headed off to Jersey for a visit with Drew's family. (By "all" I mean...Carol, Zachary, Matthew, Marta, Steve, Mom, Dad and me. Erica and Drew were already there.) Half the group headed for shopping while the younger ones (Drew, Erica, Zachary, Matthew and myself) went to mini-golf. I lost miserably. (That's right, even the kids beat me. Now you have permission to laugh) I blamed my lack of concentration on chemo brain (Hey it's my new excuse.) Then everyone met back up at the house for dinner. Huge group, but we managed to seat everyone. It was a really nice day.

This past weekend I went to Julie's wedding. For those who haven't been paying attention, Julie is my best friend from college. She and Brendan got married on Saturday. The ceremony was short, but very, very sweet. It was outside at a country club in Rehoboth MA. I dragged Zach Arnold along with me as driver and small talk maker. (I'm not so good with the small talk, but when Zach puts his mind to it he can be quite charming) While there, I met up with another friend that I went to school with. It was really a nice evening until I got a headache. (No. I didn't drink to much) Even with the headache it was a great night. On Sunday Zach and I came back and the rest of the day was finishing up some work for my classes.
So ...there you are. All caught up. Hope you all remember the postive thoughts for me on Wednesday. Later - Elizabeth

2006-09-11T16:42:00.000-04:00

So this was a hectic weekend.

On Friday I was contemplating joining mom and dad at the German American Club, for dinner. They were going to pick up three musicians who would be staying at our house for the weekend. It makes it easier on the club then finding hotel rooms for the entire german band. However, Amy called and asked me to watch her kids and since watching her kids meant having access to her laptop, I agreed. (That is not the only reason I agreed. It was a big factor though. Come on..I'm going through laptop withdrawl.) It also gave me a head start on the stuff I needed to get done for Rally Day.

Amy and I are co-leaders for the women's group and as such had to come up with a table full of information for Rally Day at church. Most of it was not a problem, but I had decided that I wanted to make a brochure, with all of the information that people could take with them when they left. Not a big deal for me...until you factor in that my computer is gone...along with all of my programs. And my parents computer my be newer, but it does not have the same programs.
So Friday night was a pretty productive night. By the time I had gotten home, the German visitors were already asleep so I didn't meet them until the breakfast the next morning.

On Saturday I was watching my parents friends dog, Schnitzel. (When the doggy frustrates me I tend to call her chicken cutlet.) When I woke up Schnitzel was in the house already and the two younger german girls were playing non-stop with her. We had three girls with us. A 26 year old teacher and two younger girls, 13 and 14. After a quick "german" breakfast (wurst, kase and brot) I had to disappear to Amy's to finish up working on our Rally Day table.

I almost finished the brochure before I left and we printed out everything Amy would need to be creative with on our display board. ( She is a wiz at scrapbooking. She does with real materials, what I do on the computer)

By the time I got home it was after noon and I had once again missed spending time with the German girls. But that was OK as I still had work to do. Including making a sign up sheet for the choir table as well as two informational sheets about choir, finishing the brochure for women's group making a sign up sheet for our first activity, getting the brochures printed and figuring out what to do with my sunday school class when I couldn't hold class ...in a classroom.

So, I have to get to staples by 8:30 in order for them to have time to print my copies, but as I use my parents computer at 7:30 to finish the brochure I discover that they don't have the right programs. Their computer wont open my files. So after a frantic 20 minutes of trying to find a compatable program, I run down to Amy's finish it there, print it out, and, as it was too late to go to staples, decided to run them off in black and white at church the next morning.

It was a stressfull day, but Sunday went smoothly. I set up at 9, from 9:30 to 11 I convinced people to sign up for Women's group, I registered my students for my class and when Scott, the choir director, harassed me, I went for a quick choir rehersal. After church we had a picnic. I had two sno cones and some cotton candy. I was planning on going to the Oktoberfest right from church, but my students decided to show their appreciation for having me as a teacher by giving me a group hug...after they had gone down the giant slip and slide that ending in a muddy pit. So, I had to go home and shower first to get rid of the grass stains.

The Oktoberfest was wonderful, as usual. And Katrina had a tent for her German class set up. That night, Mom and I sat up with our visitors and talked for a few hours. They left early on Monday to catch a bus to Niagra Falls and then it was on to Toronto for their next "gig".

I had the rest of my classes this week. So far so good. On Monday night after my class I ran to church for a Parent meeting for youth group. I'm a chaparone for the camping trip this weekend, as well as a sunday school teacher for some of them, and a discussion group leader for the junior youth group and assigned to help out with whatever else Katrina needs me for. I'm not quite sure when I started to become so active. Do we think it's left over from chemo? It's kind of creepy being this social and nice.
Anyway...I don't think I have anything more right now. So I'll post this and hope it tides you over for a few days. - Elizabeth

2006-09-06T16:48:00.000-04:00

First day of class.

The class is actually in a computer lab, so I'm updating from class. Don't worry class hasn't started yet. So. Back to school. Finally. Let you know how it goes. - Elizabeth

OK. So I lied. I’m going to continue to update on occasion from class. There is a lot of syllabus discussion going on and since this is one of the classes that I had to drop before starting my chemo, this is all stuff that I have heard before. So, I’ll probably keep this up through class depending on my level of …not paying attention.

Although, now that I am looking through this syllabus, I have to teach someone how to use various programs (ie: word, excel…) I’m thinking mom. Lord knows she could use the help. In fact, I might even throw in a bonus lesson on changing the ink cartridge in the printer.

Thinking about this now, I might be on to something. This could free up a lot of my time. Especially around Christmas when mom starts in on her Bauerlein Family Newsletter. If she could do it herself, and I mean the whole thing, that’s hours of my time that would be freed up.

Don’t get me wrong. She is a great writer. But formatting, font, margins and indentation to fit it onto whatever cutesy piece of paper she has picked out…she does none of that. She is so going to have to learn. Oh. I may even have her learn how to start her own blog. Then we eliminate the need for a newsletter all together.

(snickers…no wait …make that laughter. Make that roaring laughter)

The more I thought about it, the weirder that idea seemed. Mom having a blog is just …wrong. ( I am really trying hard not to make a scene in class. If anyone were to look at me right now, I probably looked constipated I’m trying so hard not to laugh.)

Don’t give me those looks, I’m not being mean. Can you honestly think about my mother having her own blog and not laughing? See. You can’t help it either.

I'm not the only one. Someone else just suggested that he would teach his father. The prof. has informed us this is a good idea, but we can't force our parents. Hmmm. I could tie mom to a chair in front of the computer. I don't see a problem with that.

So. On the final note, as class appears to be ending early. This is a technology in education course and as such the prof. explained why the class is important to her and how she came to be involved. Her son was diagnosed with leukemia in fourth grade and he was unable to attend class because of his chemo. She and her son's teacher ended up setting up a web video allowing him to "attend" class from home. How's that for coincidence. Leukemia is also a blood borne cancer, like lymphoma. Irony huh?

Ok. I’ll be heading to choir shortly. I expect lots of comments to bolster me after my first day of class. Okay. I think I’m really done this time. -Elizabeth

2006-09-01T11:41:00.000-04:00

aarrrrrrrrggggggggg!!!!!

No, I am not lost somewhere in the middle of Boston. The trip was fine and I had a great time wiht Paul.
I am currently updating from my parent's computer, as my computer, just recently...ate itself. That's right. It's dead. That is my latest excuse for a lack of update. (You try kicking my parents off the computer when they are in the middle of a game of solitare.) I have ordered a new computer but it won't be in for a week or so. So, before my parents get back and try and take over the computer again, here is a quick run down.
Monday and Tuesday was recouping from the weekend. Wednesday was something, but I really don't remember what...I think I went for a walk. Oh, and I sent out another resume for a job. On thursday I ran down to Amy's house and watched the kids while she and her cousin ran to the US Open. This morning, I went for a job interview, stopped by Mercy to do some paperwork, stopped by Church to talk to Mrs. Hinz, stopped by the bank so the could remove a fee the charged for an overdrawn check, and now I am waiting for Amy to call because she is taking her cousin into the city again and I'm going to watch the kiddies. This is an excellent thing as it will get me out of packing up Erica's stuff. The rest of the family is taking Erica's stuff up to Boston this weekend. I wont be going...I might sleep. Anyway, I have to go because someone keeps pacing outside the door mumbling "freecell" under their breath. I'm afraid if I don't let them get back to their games they might go through withdrawl.
Later - Elizabeth

2006-08-24T23:41:00.000-04:00

My brother is coming in to play!

So, last week was camping. That worked out pretty well. We camped Friday into Saturday, and then hiked around Pelton Pond on Sat. Then I took a nap. The kids watched a Yankee game on the portable tv. (Now there's an image. Zachary, Matt and John sitting around the TV, watching the Yankees, in the middle of the woods, with a roaring fire in the firepit. Not quite roughing it, huh?) That night mom and dad joined us for dinner. Carol made steak and we ate as we packed up the site. We had the reservation until Sunday, but it had started to rain, and we had to be out early the next morning anyway. Chuck was doing the sermon at church since Pastor was in Greece.

On Sunday, Chuck gave a great sermon and Katrina sang. It was like a double feature. Both of them did excellent. Then after church I went to a pool party for the senior high youth group. I teach sunday school for the 8-12 grades and I went to recruit new blood. I spent about 2 hours there, then drove to another pool party for the junior youth group. Also a recruitment session. I spent about 2 or 3 hours there and got to know several of the kids in the junior youth group, as well as meet 4 of the kids who will be joining my class as 8th graders.

I can't remember if I did anything else this week. I painted a lot. Oh, and I watched the boys for carol on tuesday. She had to go set up her classroom. I'm missing something. Oh..duh.
My dad just had a birthday on Tuesday. Everyone came over for dessert. Katrina made a custom ice cream cake. Cherry Vanilla and Chocolate. It was delicious.

I don't remember if I did anything yesterday, and most of today was painting, except for a run to church this evening for a sunday school teachers meeting.

Tomorrow I'm going to run down to Amy's. She is finally back from her marathon vacation. I'm going to go and hang out for a while with her, and then head home because....
My brother is coming in!

Paul is coming in sometime tomorrow evening. And, although he doesn't know it, he has a very busy schedule. After he comes in, he has dinner at our house, then driving to Katrina and Chucks for dessert. Saturday morning is breakfast at Marta and Steves house, and Saturday afternoon and evening are a bar-b-q at cousin steves. On Sunday we leave bright and early to drive to Boston, we will spend the day with Erica touring the city, and then Drew will join us for dinner, before Paul and I drive back home that night. Then Paul leaves on Monday.
Ok. I need to go to sleep now. Just remembering that list tired me out. (Don't fool yourselves into thinking that was easy for me. I have it all written down. I have to write everything down. Damn chemo brain.)
More later.
-Elizabeth

2006-08-17T19:59:00.000-04:00

Keeping Entertained...

This has been a busy week. I started off by going to the beach...again. Same group, but this time we went to the Jersey Shore and visited with my sister Erica's boyfriends' family. The water was a little rough, but the day was great. Matt and I went in search of the ice cream man. He and his quick little white truck kept evading us. Finally caught up with Zach and Paul and sent them running after the white truck. Upon acheiving our ice cream, Matt caught a ride back to the beach on Paul's shoulders. (Matt and I weren't wearing flipflops.) Paul was a very good sport about giving him a ride, and Matt was a very messy eater who ended up dripping a large part of his fruit flavored ice cream on top of Paul's head.
After the beach we went back and had dinner with them and they boys got to ride in a supped up dune buggy, (or a trashed car...depending how you look at it.) Matt looked adorable with a football helmet and gogles on.
The next day was once again recuperation. I love the beach, but the rougher the water, the more I hurt. So tuesday was just a day of praying my body would stop hurting. I spent several hours at a friends house. I'm watching her dog, her daughter's dog (whom I am also friends with...the daughter, not the dog. Although the dog isn't bad, very friendly, lots of energy. I'm getting distracted.) Anyway, I'm watching the two dogs and a cat. I spent several hours with my feet in their pool and watching the dogs run around.
On wednesday, I spent the morning with the dogs and the afternoon preparing dinner. It was time, once again, for a Chuck and Elizabeth theme night. Sometimes I get bored. Chuck as well, especially when Katrina is out of town...like she currently is. For awhile now chuck and I have been doing theme nights during which we plan out meals and watch a movie. We haven't done it for some time. Let's see...there was Bird Flu. We made Asian Chicken stirfry and watched epidemic movies for that one. We also did a gas price on the rise with a Mad Max theme. However, Wednesday's theme was my choice. I went with Global warming. We had Blackened Cajun Chicken. Pasta with Alfredo Sauce and Sundried Tomatos. A salad with hothouse greens. Naan bread cooked on a stone in the oven. To drink, we had a potent blue concoction of blue pucker, lemon and lime juice and mango rum. Very tasty. I even had gummi fish floating in ice cubes. Then for dessert : melted ice cream with toasted almonds and fried bananas. Get it? Get it? Then we watched the Day After Tomorrow. I think it was a great success. I'm very happy with the turnout.
Tonight was Chuck's night. He chose the Middle East as his theme. (We tend to be on a current events kick at the moment.) His meal was great as well. He started off with homemade humus and toasted pita. Then for dinner we had an Indian spiced chicken that was wonderful, with basmati rice and couscous. To show up my bread making skills, he made a simple cows milk cheese, that he cooked up in spinach. For dessert we had filo dough bowls with ice cream and a vanilla spice sauce. He did very well. We are watching Dune at the moment. Chuck likes to think of it as an alegory for the middle east. Personally, I'm not unconvinced that this wasn't just an excuse to watch scifi. Not that I object, I like Dune.
Tomorrow afternoon, I head to Fahnestock with Carol, John and the nephews for a camping weekend. Here's to hoping that works out OK. I miss outdoor activity. I picked Fahnestock, because I can still do the hike around Pelton Pond. I think Marta and Steve might join us for a hike on Saturday. I hope this goes well. If I'm able to pull this off, it might lead to a longer hike at Bash Bish.
OK: I'm going to get back to the movie now. But before I go, Charlie..It was great to hear from you. Have you talked to Sarge recently? I had to call him about a ticket. It got dismissed. (Evil grin)
Later everyone. -Elizabeth

2006-08-11T23:20:00.000-04:00

I've got nothing.

Nothing new is going on. We went to the beach. That was great, but then I spent the next day recuperating. The only interesting thing that I have discovered is that I am not totally crazy.
...
That might need an explanation, huh?
So, since chemo ended I have been experiencing some problems. Nothing too major. Just things like, short term memory loss, hearing problems, tingling fingers...other minor cognitive "difficulties". Since I'm ADD, this wasn't all that much of a surprise. I just figured that I was having trouble getting back into the swing of ...well...having a life that wasn't defined by cancer. I started taking my ADD meds to help but ...things weren't really getting better. They weren't working the way they were supposed to. So finally I did some research.

It's called Chemo Brain. (I know, sounds like something I named, huh?) It is a decrease in cognitive functioning. In fact ADD meds have been used to help combat some of the symptoms. However, for someone who is already ADD...not so much. Then my mother talked to a friend of the family who is a nurse and she said that the hearing loss and neuropathy were also carry over symptoms that would start to fade in time.

I'm not overly upset. I mean this is going to make the school year a little more difficult. I can't even read for pleasure because if I put the book down for too long I forget what I read. But even that is not such an issue. I'll deal.

I'm just glad I'm not going crazy. It really is ridiculous. I should be able to remember a conversation that I just had with someone. Or what show I just watched or what book I'm trying to read. But knowing that it's a side effect...so much better. Frustrating, but better.
I think that's all I've got for now. Talk to you later.
-Elizabeth

2006-08-09T09:32:00.000-04:00

Off to the beach.

That's right. I'm going to the beach. In the middle of the week. I deserve it. Yesterday I went to get my port flushed. (Yes, that is really what the call it) Betsy, my chemo nurse, pushed two needles into my port. It has two access points, this wasn't the problem. The problem came when the second one didn't go in right. Sooooo painful. She has to try and wiggle it around until she lines it up and then push the needle in again. As we were leaving mom made the analogy of it being like trying to push an earring through a hole that was already closed up. Then I corrected her. Sure that's hard, and a little painful, but if the earring doesn't go through, then you stop and make an appointment to repierce your ears. This experience was more like...trying to push the earing through, discovering that you can't, sharping the point of the earring and shoving it through the flesh anyway. Slight difference.
Anyway. As a reward, I am off to Jones Beach with Mom, Dad, Carol and the nephews. Maybe I will even try to get some sun today..... Who am I kidding. No sun for me. At least not with the 3000 spf I have to wear. All right I have to get ready to go.
Later - Elizabeth

2006-08-07T13:56:00.000-04:00

I need a slogan.

Do we think that "It's all about me" is copywrited?
OK. Here's the idea. I'm going to open an online shop. T-shirts, mugs, calendars. Things along those lines. However, I need some ideas for a slogan. I figured I could make some t-shirts and stuff with the slogan on them and maybe some with some of the pictures from the blog. So. Your job, as a reader of this blog, is to contribute ideas for the slogan to go on the shirts. Also which pictures should go on the shirts. Should I actually make money, the proceeds will go to either our relay for life team, or the lymphoma society.
So, go and review previous entries. Let me know what you think. Oh and if you have any ideas for pictures that I haven't made, let me know.

Besides the shirt thing, I've been working on increasing my energy levels. That's not going so well. I kind of like sleeping half the day away. Now that I am able to actually get sleep I have a new appreciation for it. But if I intend to go to school and substitute teach, then I will need to rework my sleeping patterns. I also want to go camping with the siblings (if we can find weekend we all agree on) and if we go to Bash Bish then I want to hike down the falls. Not fall down the falls. I was also hoping to take the nephews and Caitlin to the Renaissance Fair one day. That's gonna require some stamina as well.
Know what I've discovered really helps increase the stamina. Parties. That's right, parties. Each one I go to, I last a little bit longer before I need a nap. Hmmm. I guess that's all for now. Wow, my life has gotten really boring, huh?
Later - Elizabeth

2006-07-31T14:50:00.000-04:00

Something.

Ha. Get it? Carol said "throw us something". Something. Ha. ...Aw forget it. This is me updating. This will be a bad update. I just got back from Massachusetts and I'm tired. I also have a party I need to go to in a few hours. So, quick is key.
Bon Jovi was great and I wish that I could run off with him. Janette has pictures and as soon as she emails those you can see them too. And for the record, Manny, Yes. Bon Jovi is still around. And we all hope they will continue to be around for a long time to come.
I just got back from Julie's bridal shower. A smashing success. And you should see the pile of gifts she got. Then she and Brendan (the fiance) took me out to dinner. We got a little drunk, excellent thing Brendan was driving. Left me and Julie to get tipsy and gossipy.
I think that's it. But oh, Janette? It doesn't count if Jess didn't update. You said the contest was between Jess, Ames and myself. You can't win by proxy.
That's all - Liz

2006-07-18T14:18:00.000-04:00

Bon Jovi!!!

Party was great.
More on that later.
Right now, I'm off to see Bon Jovi.
-Liz

2006-07-09T22:55:00.000-04:00

This time the late update wasn't my fault.

The site has been going through maintained and I wasn't able to update. However, it gave me time to think about what to write. Which, unfortunately for you, isn't all that interesting.

I've been going over all the things my doctor has told me about my recover and what to expect and what to look out for and what to be careful of and... It really is a lot to process all at once. Yet if I don't force myself to think about it, I find myself caught unawares.

For instance, yesterday I bought a whole mess of flowers for the deck. I spent an hour in the store picking out just the right mix. (This is harder than it sounds as mom only likes purple, pink and the occasional blue flower.) After insuring that there were no reds or oranges in the bunch, the store attendant helped me load them into my car. I got them home, and unloaded them into the garage. No problem...right? Not exactly.

Now I was over confident. I could handle the flowers. No problem. After church this morning, I started working on the flowers. Mom, Katrina and Chuck went to home depot to pick up weatherproofing for Mom's new deck furniture. By the time they got back I had my plants organized, the potting soil mixed and two hanging baskets spray painted to cover the rust. We were ready to go. While they had lunch, I started on the flowers. I got through 4 pots before my body started screaming at me. Bending over hurts, lifting hurts, moving to quickly leaves me out of breath. Not to mention it was hot. I ended up tired and frustrated and jumping into the pool with my clothes on. It was miserable.

That is how it went for the rest of the day. Work for maybe an hour, then jump in the pool for twenty minutes and float until my body stopped aching. You ask "how does this relate back to the good doctor's words?" Well, even though my immune system is finally back on track, (Thank God) he said it will probably take 3 months before my body is back to pre-chemo Elizabeth. Which explains why a job like potting plants took me three times as long as it should have.

I have to admit though, it was a pretty nice day all in all. Katrina, Chuck and Mom started on the deck furniture after they ate, and Dad (who does not pick up paint brushes for any reason) dragged the kitchen TV out on to the deck so that we could watch the World Cup final game. And don't worry, when I finished with the flowers I helped with the deck furniture. A little. OK most of my help consisted of yelling at mom for dripping the stain everywhere.

Well. I guess it's not so bad. I mean, I have to keep reminding myself of certain things. Always wear sunscreen, don't go outside without my hat. Oh...and to be grateful for the little improvements. I went for a walk with Katrina after dinner. It wasn't very long and we took a 10 minute break to chat with Amy and John, but still not that bad. Of course mom isn't particularly thrilled with Dr. Ahmed at the moment for giving me a recuperation time frame. She thinks that he gave me some sort of an "out" to be lazy for three months. But than again, I have a sneaking suspicion that she just wants to use my party as an excuse to spring clean the house and is trying to get me to help.

I'm not really sure if there is anything else at the moment. I am getting ready for my party. Trying to track down tongue depressors, hospital wrist bands and possibly a gurney. (giggles in delight) I'm also trying to find a job for the summer. Unfortunately, since I can't do more than a few hours before I get tired, this kind of limits the options. I'm hoping that by fall I will be OK to go back to subbing. That'd be nice. That and I have my last three courses to take.
You know. Restart my life. The one I had to put on hold. Student teach. Get my degree.

Ahhhh. Too much thinking. Head is going to explode. Aghh. Enough.
Ok. Not panicking. Taking deep breaths. I'm just going to focus on the party.

I think I'm done for this blog. I need sleep. However, Manny? I know what a mojito is, we have the Slivovica, but what is a Cuba Libre?
Ok, now I’m done.
Everyone better get their props or costumes ready for the party. (You too Diane, you may only be able to come for a few hours, but I expect at least a stethoscope.)
Later - Elizabeth

2006-07-05T23:25:00.000-04:00

A short post ...as I am a little tipsy at the moment.

After the usual several hours of waiting, radio active sugar, waiting, donut machine, waiting in the donut machine, and yet even more waiting in the doctor's office...I was finally informed that our suspicions were confirmed. Fred is dead. There were no new growths or hotspots in the last 5 weeks and the CT scan only showed some scar tissue. Which will need to be watched but, in and of itself, is not so concerning. Now starts the every three month regiment of scans. And we discussed when the port can come out and he has opted to leave it in for a full year. Since the next several (18) months are the most common for reoccurance, this makes sense.
So with the official word of Fred's demise, I set out to celebrate. I had drinks. (Margarita's. Did you expect anything else?) And then Mom, Dad, Erica and I proceeded to burn every get well card that I had received while dealing with Fred. Up until now they had been hanging on the walls of my room.
That's all I have the energy for. More later. -Elizabeth

2006-07-05T02:03:00.000-04:00

I know...It's late.

Don't worry. I'm going to bed shortly. I just figured I would give you all a heads up as to the exciting events of the fourth. Katrina and Chuck had their open house today. It was a grand success ...even with the thunder and lightening. And since all of their house warming gifts had a patriotic theme, they have now established themselves as the "official" family forth of july party place.
It was a great day and I managed to keep myself fairly well distracted by being social. I know, most people wouldn't be distracted by small talk, but I'm not most people. Conversation is work for me. Oh...and to why I had to be distracted? Well I have my final PET scan tomorrow/today....the fifth. It is actually not my final. I will be having a PET or CT scan for the next ??? years. At least 5. However, this is the one to make sure that not only did the chemo do it's job, but that it stuck. Basically, we are hoping to sign Fred's death certificate tomorrow.
I know it's going to be fine, but in typical Elizabeth fashion I am imagining the worst.
Anyway. I will let you know tomorrow night. Later -Elizabeth

2006-07-03T17:37:00.000-04:00

So this was the picture we took after lunch at Caneel Bay.

I'll post more pictures as soon as I can. Especially the one of me parasailing. That's right. Parasailing.
Later - Elizabeth

2006-06-28T23:08:00.000-04:00

Bring a book.

That is what the guide book says about the nightlife in St. John. They obviously have never had to contend with the Bauerlein women. Guaranteed we livened the island up last night. Bar hopping on St. John. That will be a new favorite memory.
Today we went to Caneel Bay for lunch. It was wonderful and we celebrated Mom's 60th, Carol's 40th, Katrina and Marta's 30th and 2 different anniversaries. We took a picture so I'm going to post that soon. It was pretty fun. I'll post again tomorrow. -Elizabeth

2006-06-27T19:22:00.000-04:00

Can fish get Cancer?

So I have spent quite a bit of my time snorkeling on the island. I have decided that I want to come back as a fish in my next life. Not only do I love the water, but fish have no claustrophobia issues. They swim in and out of these coral formations with no fear. They love it. They don't have to deal with donut machines that give them nightmares.

I mentioned this to marta and she promptly reminded me that fish have problems along the lines of larger fish....so maybe i will come back as a fish tank fish. One of those pampered rich fish. Or better yet...a merperson. Then I'll be at the top of the fishy food chain.

In the mean time I am all about the snorkeling. I saw many pretty fish, a small sword fish and two sea turtles. I even touched one. We are hoping to head out tonight for some town time. Drinking/partying. We'll see if i'm up for it. That's all for now. Later -Elizabeth

2006-06-26T17:19:00.000-04:00

Thank God for Techno geek brother-in-laws.

Steve has internet access. We are hooked up. Unfortunately, I am in the middle of heavy drinking, so I will post an update tomorrow. Check in then. -Liz

2006-06-23T21:14:00.000-04:00

Exile

I am a bad person for not updating in forever. I should be punished. I think I will exile myself. That's it. I'm going to send myself far away. Like maybe a tropical island. Yeah. That's it. A tropical island. Excellent. (A small evil grin emerges.) Excellent.

In case you haven't figured it out. I am off to St. John. USVI. The whole family is going. Won't be back until July 1. However, I promise to blog upon my return. Later. -Elizabeth

2006-06-09T21:03:00.000-04:00

Things NOT to do when the room is spinning...

So, when the room is spinning and you can’t make it stop…
DO NOT close your eyes. This is a guaranteed way to make sure that you will feel like the room is spinning faster and faster and faster.
Number 2. DO NOT try spinning with the room. Standing in the middle of the room and spinning around in the same direction it spins will NOT make the room stop spinning. It will however make you very nauseous and dizzy.
Finally, DO NOT, …I repeat…DO NOT spin in the opposite direction the room is spinning. Not only will become very nauseous and dizzy, you will also more than likely end up on the floor with a concussion from a nasty fall after accidentally bumping into the end table.

Ok. That’s Elizabeth’s advice for the day. On to more important matters. Specifically, I’m having a party.
Consider this an open invitation to the celebratory event of the summer:
The Fred is Dead Party

On July 15th (Saturday) from 1:00 until… well, until I get tired or I pass out. Which ever comes first. It’s going to be at the house and all are invited. However, bring an appetizer or dessert to share. Maybe some beer. Oh. And it’s themed. Hospital attire. Doctor’s, nurses, patients. Whatever. Just make sure that you have a lab coat/stethoscope/scrubs/or gown. I’m sure mom will remind me if I forgot to post some information. But I just wanted to make sure the date got out there, and you all have it on your calendars. That’s it for now. -Elizabeth

2006-06-07T01:56:00.000-04:00

Still here

So that was an exceptionally long time for me to wait before posting. Sorry. I was being lazy. In fact, Im still feeling lazy. So this is to let you all know that I'm still around, everything is fine, and I will soon be having a Fred is dead party. Still not quite sure on the details, but I'll give you all a heads up on the when and where soon. I think that's it. I'll post tomorrow. -Elizabeth